Superheroes are not Comics

My Twitter pal R. M. Rhodes wrote a lengthy post for Gutter Brawl on what he calls “The Scarlet Genre.” He’s talking about superhero comics and asked if I wouldn’t mind commenting on his thoughts.

Though he doesn’t directly explain it in the article, it’s obvious that Rhodes picked the title of his piece in reference to the scarlet letter that kept prejudiced people from interacting with Hester Prynne. His assertion is that the comics medium has become confused by mass audiences with the superhero genre and - like Prynne's embroidered mark - it keeps people who don’t like superheroes from interacting with all comics, regardless of genre.

Rhodes talks about how comics creators, publishers, and vendors need to market comics differently to correct that misperception and let the mass audience know that they have other choices. That’s all good and I agree with him to a certain point. Comics marketing is traditionally poor when it comes to reaching people who don’t already read and love comics. We can do better.

I disagree with him on a couple of things though. First, with the idea that mass audiences are turned off by comics because they think that all comics are about superheroes. The crazy successes of movies like The Avengers, The Amazing Spider-Man, and The Dark Knight Rises show that mass audiences do, in fact, love superheroes. That adoring audience almost never translates into new readers of superhero comics, but that doesn't mean that there's a problem with the genre. As Tom Spurgeon points out, comics people love to analyze this stuff and figure out What's Wrong With Us, but it's really as simple as "a lot of people like superhero movies and not as many like superhero comics." I talk to superhero fans all the time who love these characters every bit as much as I do (often more than I do), but simply prefer to watch them in movies or on TV. They're just not into comics.

The reverse is also true. There are a lot of eager comics readers who don't care at all about superheroes. I don't have numbers, but non-superhero publishers like IDW, Image, Dark Horse, Fantagraphics, Drawn and Quarterly, First Second, Archaia, and BOOM! seem to be doing very well with comics across a wide range of genres.

In fact, what I said about movie fans not becoming comics fans seems to be a problem limited exclusively to the superhero genre. The success of The Walking Dead alone proves that there's a huge audience willing to check out the comics that inspired their favorite TV shows and movies. Comics retailer Mike Sterling has written about how comics movies do in fact drive interest in the comics they're based on (especially if they're written by Alan Moore, but there was also huge demand for Sin City and Hellboy comics when those movies came out).

Where non-superhero comics have the advantage (specifically, non-corporate-owned superhero comics) is that it's much easier to find the story that directly inspired the film or TV show. Every time a new Marvel movie comes out, we see a gazillion lists posted (all different from each other) about which comics to buy if you want to read more about the character. Corporate superhero comics are fun for people willing to invest some time in them, but they're impenetrable to casual readers. That's a much more significant cause for disinterest than simply not liking superheroes.

My point is that superheroes don't equal comics. I agree with Rhodes that it's often the first genre that comes to mind in most people's minds, but it's a perception that's a) easily changed with some quick pop culture references and b) is changing more and more every day. In fact, I suspect that the perception problem isn't one that mass audiences have as much as a certain segment of comics fans does. I keep reading articles in which superhero comics are referred to as "mainstream," but I wonder if that's true anymore. I'd love for someone who isn't me to run the numbers and compare sales of all corporate-owned superhero comics (and graphic novels) to sales of everything else across all distribution outlets. I bet we'd be surprised at the results.

Jessica Hickman and the Uniques

My pal and Cownt Tales cohort Jessica Hickman has illustrated a short story set in the world of the independent superhero comic The Uniques. It can be challenging for an artist to illustrate a scene of two people just talking and keep it interesting, but Jess did a really nice job communicating emotions with facial expressions and body language. It turned out to be a touching little tale.

Art Show: Kingship of the Apes

Posting ten images a week hasn't been helping me make headway against my backlog. In fact, I'm getting further and further behind. So to help me catch up, this week's a whopper.

Cabin Boy



By Pierre Joubert. [Illustrateurs]

Belit



By Mike Hawthorne. [ComicTwart]

Kitty Pryde, Pirate



By Adam Withers. [Swing with Shad, a cool sea-themed blogger who's started his own set of Art Show posts.]

After the break: Way too much to list. Seriously. It's a butt-load of art.

Happy Valentines Day!

You're all my Action Valentines.

Quotes of the Month: I want Iron Man and Captain America to finally kiss.

I’ve gotta say, that’s one low f***ing bar. Set expectations for vaguely competent, Mr. Sulu! Today we’re going for multiple genres!
--Dirk Deppey, on a headline title implying that publishing non-superhero comics is somehow new and revolutionary.

...why is there a Storm Trooper in this photo, and why isn't he shooting and shooting and shooting until there's nothing left but his memories of what he'd seen, and then he starts shooting them too.
--Paul Tobin, presenting the only question a sane person can possibly ask after viewing this.

Or at least his epidermis is steel, I dunno what happens to sweetum's internals and guts and all that when he goes for the ball, or a brick, or a fluffy kitty. And I don't want to know, nobody should give a rat's ass about stuff like that, especially because if you make enough of a fanboy stink (insert joke here) some Marvel nitwit will write a story explaining it and that's a large part of what f***ed superhero comics up in the first place.
--Evan Dorkin, using the Absorbing Man to simultaneously pinpoint everything that is both right and wrong with modern superhero comics.

At some point, it's hard to backseat drive folks that set out to make millions of dollars and then succeed in doing so, even when you feel they're playing audience Jenga.
--Tom Spurgeon, on second-guessing what's wrong with modern superhero comics.

In the end, geeks love a thing -- any thing -- enough to immerse themselves in its most minute detail, to discuss it and dissect it and construct charmingly elaborate theories/tiresomely belligerent opinions about it. What that thing happens to be? That matters much less, if at all.
--Glen Weldon, supporting my long-held opinion that sports fans are giant nerds too.

Let me tell you that's there's only one Robin Hood movie that matters, and I'm not talking about the Kevin Costner one (although it does have a place in my heart as the first movie I saw on a date): Ooh-de-lally ooh-de-lally, motherf***ers. All the other Robin Hoods can f*** off.
--Topless Robot's Rob Bricken, who may be over-reacting to the trailers for Ridley Scott's Robin Hood, but still has excellent taste in Robin Hood films.

This is what I am truly hoping for with Girl Comics: I want the comics to be ridiculous enough to match the ridiculous title. I want it to be silly and fun and gratuitous and shamelessly girly. I want the male superheroes exploited. I want a shirtless Daredevil centrefold. I want a soft focus every time Winter Soldier appears. I want a round table "Who would you do?" discussion between all of the women on that cover (especially Sue Storm, because you know it would make her uncomfortable at first). I want Namor to appear in this series for whatever reason. I want a bunch of ladies to pull a prank on Tony Stark because he deserves it. I want to see dating and drinking and shopping punctuated by the occasional ass-kicking. I want Iron Man and Captain America to finally kiss.
--Rachelle Goguen, proving that she should write every single story in Marvel's upcoming Girl Comics anthology. [By way of Robot 6]

Quote of the Week: The Worst Person That Has Ever Been Born

October took it's toll worse than I thought. I have a folder FULL of old quotes I never posted. Let's clear that right out...

As you all know, it takes me weeks, MONTHS , even years to get to commissions over email, and that makes me the worst person that has ever been born.... BUT!... If you catch me at a convention-Presto!-the commission appears right before your eyes! Just like David Copperfield, I reach behind your ear and say, "oh what's this behind your ear? Ah, it's a full color sketch of Death!". And then you cry.
--Ryan Kelly, on why conventions are the best time to ask for commissions.

George Lucas, Wes Anderson, Roman Polanski, Steven Spielberg, Pope Benedict, Miley Cyrus, me, Hitler, Dracula, Spongebob Squarepants, King Henry VII and Mr. Peanut will also not -- I REPEAT, [NOT] -- be directing the Avengers movie. All media outlets, please make sure to credit Topless Robot appropriately when you report on this amazing news.
--Topless Robot, on the "news" that Jon Favreau will not be directing The Avengers.

He’s just strutting down the street, singing his private themesong in his head ("Hawkman is swinging, Hawkman is swinging, Hawkmaaaaaan… Hawkman swinging") wondering if he should maybe undo another button.
--Rachelle from Living Between Wednesdays, on why Hawkman looks so distracted in this picture:



Margaret Wise Brown’s approach to the apocalypse is a minimalist one. Leaving only vague hints about the world in the wake of DR. MOREAU-style takeover by anthropomorphic animals, the slowly expiring narrator describes his deathbed — a seemingly normal bedroom and its mundane, but symbolically sinister furnishings.
--Ryun Patterson, making Goodnight Moon eighty times more awesome than it already was.

...remember when maybe you didn't get into that one college? Did they send you a personalized four-page essay on how you were super great, but they just didn't have room for you? Or did they send you a one-page "thanks, but no thanks, better luck elsewhere"?

Aha.
--Pimp My Novel, on why writers shouldn't be so offended by form rejection letters.

I’ve kept it rather quiet over the years, but I’m actually something of a big fan of Batman. I’d even go so far as to say he’s probably my favorite character not just in comics, but in anything, but even I have to admit that the fact that he is not a foxy lady luchador with an equally foxy sidekick named Esmerelda who fights crime in an outfit consisting of cape, cowl and bikini is proof that we are not living in the best of all possible worlds.
--Chris Sims, concerning La Mujer Murcielago.

Namora looks bored while fighting the X-Men, and if actually fighting the X-Men is so goddam boring, what’s reading about fighting the X-Men going to be like? Will you actually fall asleep, as Colossus has here?
--Caleb Mozzocco, on the weakness of the cover to X-Men Vs. Agents of Atlas #2.

This is not a moral dilemma. Kill someone for pay. They die, you get money. You are a hit man/woman. This is not a complicated story. This is not a nuanced question. What would you do? Well, I would not kill the person for money, for the same reason that if you offered me a million dollars today to go run over someone with my car, I would not do it, because I do not work as a contract killer.

(Also because I don't have a car.)

"But it's someone you don't know!"

You know what? Even if I don't know you, I would still not kill you for money. I know -- I am very generous that way.
--Linda Holmes, explaining why The Box may not be nearly as complex as it would like you to believe.

MichaeLego and Other Off-Topicness

Lego Me



Lego You.

Gorillas Riding Dinosaurs: Charlatan



This week's Robot 6 column is all about superhero graphic novel Charlatan and how creating your superhero universe may be distracting you from telling a pretty great story.

The Complete Alice in Wonderland comic

I was surprised at how much I liked Lewis Carroll's original Alice stories. Makes me wonder if a faithful comics adaptation can do it justice.

The Mighty George Kirk



Captain Kirk's dad is playing Thor in Kenneth Branagh's adaptation of the Marvel comic. I can totally get behind that. Not only because I trust Branagh, but because George Kirk was one of the coolest parts of the new Star Trek.

They've also cast Loki with a guy I've never heard of, but who totally looks the part.

Books for Writers

Comics writer/editor Paul Kupperberg has an article on books about writing. I'm a process-junkie, so I love this kind of thing. Boiled down to list form, the craft books are:

The DC Comics Guide to Writing Comics by Dennis O'Neil
Will Eisner's Shop Talk by Will Eisner and Others
Telling Lies for Fun and Profit by Lawrence Block
Writing the Novel: From Plot to Print by Lawrence Block
Spider, Spin Me a Web by Lawrence Block
Lawrence Block on Writing Fiction by Lawrence Block (not available on Amazon)
Write for Your Life by Lawrence Block (not available on Amazon)
Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg
Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott
Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury (Amazon has two volumes)

Kupperberg also strongly recommends the following books to anyone wanting to "go the comic book route." By which he actually seems to mean "the corporate-owned super-hero route." I get a little cranky when he says, "I don’t want to hear that you don’t know who Midnight is or what comic book company published him in the 1940s. You should know this stuff. These books should whet your appetite to learn more. If they don’t, what’re you doing trying to get into this business anyway?" What does obscure Golden Age trivia have to do with writing comics about giant robots and monsters, gangsters fighting Western outlaws, or vampire cattle?

Still, I do like super-heroes and am interested in their history, so here's that list too:

The Great Comic Book Heroes by Jules Feiffer
The Steranko History of Comics by Jim Steranko (out of print as far as I can tell)
All in Color for a Dime edited by Don Thompson and Dick Lupoff (also apparently out of print)
The Comic-Book Book edited by Don Thompson and Dick Lupoff
Men of Tomorrow: Geeks, Gangsters and the Birth of the Comic Book by Gerard Jones

Hancock (and One Missed Call)

Hancock (2008)



This is going to be short, because I can't say much about it without spoiling it and I don't want to do that. I was fortunate enough to go into the movie unspoiled and I wouldn't want to ruin that for anyone else.

I really liked this movie for a couple of reasons. First, speaking of not having it spoiled, I was surprised to learn that the trailers hadn't already shown me the whole movie. The trailers are only the first act and I loved getting to the point where I'd seen everything in them and knew that there was still another hour or so of movie left to explore.

Second, the film's got a ton of heart. Will Smith shows once again that we shouldn't underestimate him as an actor and I liked Jason Bateman's character a lot more than I thought I would. I like Bateman as an actor, but I don't trust PR guys, so I was afraid that his character would be overly slick if not downright sleazy. Not at all. Everyone you're supposed to like, you really like. You root hard for Hancock and that's what carries the movie. I absolutely loved his character.

Even though I really liked everything about the movie though, I didn't love the film itself. I was confused by that for a while until my brother-in-law/movie-pal Dave put his finger right on what was missing. It's a superhero movie and superheroes are only as good as their villains. Hancock has his enemies, but they're not very interesting ones. They're okay, and there's potential for them to be really awesome - especially if there's a sequel - but they're not as developed as Hancock and the rest of the main cast are. So, what's there... I loved. I just wish the movie could've given me a little bit more.

Four out of five whale tosses.

Bonus non-review: One Missed Call (2008)



I didn't finish the US version of One Missed Call. The special effects were crap, but even worse than that was the complete stupidity of all the main characters.

It's about this circle of college friends who know that a couple of their friends have died after receiving mysterious phone calls from future versions of themselves. The main character Beth (in the middle of that picture above) has even heard one of the messages and tries to convince the police to do something about it. One of the detectives on the case (Margaret Cho) doesn't believe her, but the other one, Detective Andrews (Edward Burns from 27 Dresses), does because his sister also just died under similar circumstances.

So, when Beth's friend Taylor (holding the phone in the picture) gets one of the phone calls, she and Beth immediately go to Detective Andrews and solicit his help, right? Of course not. They destroy the phone (and any evidence or clues it contains), hoping that that will rid them of the curse.

Eventually Andrews finds out anyway because he uncovers a lead on his own. But instead of going to check it out, he decides to swing by Beth's place first to let her know what he's learned. And of course she demands to go with him on his investigation. And of course he lets her.

And when the investigation leads them to a locked door on a private residence, Andrews tells Beth he can't just break in because "I'm a cop."

"I'm not," Beth smiles. And Andrews gives her a piece of lock-picking paper to try to open the door credit card-style.

Only Beth can't do it, so Andrews does it for her anyway.

And that's when I turned it off.

It's too bad too because I was kind of into the mystery about what was causing the phone calls and why the victims all had pieces of red hard candy in their mouths. But I just couldn't sit through any more.

If anyone's seen it and can explain the mystery to me, I'd be grateful.

One out of five red hardcandies.

Adventureblog Theater: Emo Hulk, animated Kirk/Spock love, why the Six Million Dollar Man ruled, Doogie vs. Mal, and the Mandalorian Flashdance

Emo Hulk

Weird. There's a scene in this trailer that I don't remember being in the Incredible Hulk movie at all. It's not the arctic scene either. Starts about 30 seconds in.



Spock wants to live like common people



Six Million Dollar Man vs. Bigfoot

The Bionic Woman remake wouldn't have failed if it had been more like this. (I never realized that Bigfoot was played by Andre the Giant. Awesome.)



Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog

Doogie Howser vs. Mal Reynolds


Teaser from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog on Vimeo.

Mandalorian Flashdance

He can't have it all; now Fett's dancing for his life.

Mandalorian Dance
by PatrickBoivin

What Looks Good: July at the Movies

July 4

Hancock: My history with Will Smith movies is that I enjoy them for the two hours I'm there and then pretty much forget about them afterwards. I don't expect this one will be any different.

I might've had higher hopes if they hadn't already spoiled his character development in the trailer. I think it would've been a bolder choice to have him stay a butthole the entire movie, but maybe they pull off the change really well.

Kabluey: (Limited release) I expect I'll like this costumed hero a lot more than Hancock. Plus: Teri Garr.

July 11

Hellboy II: The Golden Army: C'mon, it's Hellboy. I'd see it even if it didn't look the most awesomely imaginative fantasy film since Return of the King. Which it totally does.

Journey to the Center of the Earth: Despite my liking both Jules Verne's imagination and Brendan Fraser's screen presence, I'm having a hard time getting excited about this one at all. They've changed two of the main characters into kids ("...making [the Icelandic guide] Hans into Hannah was just an obvious choice," says director Eric Brevig) and seem more focused on playing with the 3D technology than on telling a great story ("...The rest of it [aside from adapting a couple of iconic moments from the book] was me coming up with pieces of business that I thought would just play wonderfully in 3-D as well as 2-D"). This is probably a DVD rental for me.

July 18

The Dark Knight: As much as my brain tells me that this is going to be awesome because the first one was and Christopher Nolan can Do No Wrong, my heart's just not in it. I'm getting a little more excited the more we see of Two-Face, but I'm so tired of the Joker being played as just another psychotic killer. This is absolutely NOT a criticism of Heath Ledger whom I love as an actor and I expect is brilliant with the part he was given, but just once I'd like to see the Joker in the movies hatch a scheme involving an oversized mallet and a giant jack-in-the-box.

Transsiberian: (NY and LA only) The trailer looks uninspired, but I love trains and snow enough that I'm hoping those elements will carry me through even if the plot is lousy. But maybe it won't be. Maybe it's just a lousy trailer.

Space Chimps: Talking apes in a space adventure. What could be nicer?

July 25

Step Brothers: This is such a toss up as to whether or not I'm going to like it. John C. Reilly is great, but I can't usually take much of Will Ferrell. All the ads I've seen for it have made me laugh though, so on the list it goes.

The X-Files: I Want to Believe: This has the potential to be my favorite movie of the summer. I love and miss Mulder and Scully like you wouldn't believe. Unfortunately, it also has the potential to be the biggest disappointment. My hopes for it are way too high.

Adventureblog Theater: Batman's swastika, the MMMS, Predator vs. Ewoks, Indy's dark side, and dancing Star Wars

Batman seems a little friendly with the Nazis



Many more Batman cameos (though none that weird) at SF Signal.

The Mighty Marvel Marching Society

Stand a little straighter. Walk a little prouder.



(Thanks, Mark Evanier!)

Predator vs. Ewoks

And you thought getting beat by Danny Glover was embarrassing.



(Thanks, SF Signal!)

Indy's dark side

"That guy threw my grandfather into a plane propeller."

Indiana Jones: Hero or Killer?


(Thanks, CelebrityMooch!)

Dance, Wookiee! Dance!

Chewie and a Jawa doing the Flashdance is awesome. Leia and Amidala grooving to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" is a bit lame, but made better once the Gamorrean guard joins in. Make sure you stick around to the end though for Vader, some Stormtroopers, and "Thriller."



(Thanks, /Film!)

Adventureblog Gallery: Ani-JLA, dinosaur and baby, giant shark, giant space croc, and Doctor Who

I'm in Wisconsin with limited Internet access, so it's going to be Gallery Week here at the old Adventureblog. Enjoy!

Ani-JLA

My heart aches for a cartoon with this version of Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and the Flash.



By Cliff Chiang.

Dinosaurs are sweet



By Maryam.

Giant shark



No idea who took the photo, but I found it thanks to Alec Millard.

Giant Space Croc



By Brett Fitzpatrick.

Doctor Who



By Pia Guerra.

Made Me Quit (Adventureblog Edition): Fantastic Four

Siskoid's Blog of Geekery has a cool feature called "Made Me Quit" (the most recent one is here) in which he talks about the final straws that got him to stop reading comics series he was no longer enjoying.

I thought about that feature a lot as I was reading the most recent issue of Fantastic Four.

When I started regularly reading comics in high school, I was a fan of the characters. Who was writing or drawing a comic were secondary considerations to who the comic was about. As long as it had a member of Alpha Flight in it, I bought it. After a while I got into the X-Men and I had to have all the comics about them too. I still have some of that in me. Any comic that features Alpha Flight (or Wonder Woman, Shang Chi, Black Canary, etc.) is going to at least get my attention.

But after a while I started realizing that just because a comic had my favorite characters in it that didn't mean it was good. I should've learned that lesson as soon as John Byrne left Alpha Flight, but I didn't. Eventually I figured it out though, and I started buying comics based on who created them.

I should've known better than that too. I mean, I loved John Byrne's Alpha Flight and Next Men, but I didn't care at all for his work on Wonder Woman. I loved Denny O'Neil's first thirty issues of Azrael, but after that it became apparent that he'd told the story he started out to tell and was keeping the series going anyway. I guess I'm a slow learner.

But I finally learned too that just because I love Brian K. Vaughan's The Hood or Y: The Last Man doesn't mean I'm also going to love his Ex Machina. Or just because Bill Willingham rules the universe on Fables doesn't mean that I'm going to dig the way he writes Batman comics. In fact, I can't think of a single writer or visual artist where I've loved absolutely every single thing he or she has ever created. Nor can I think of a single writer or visual artist where he or she has loved absolutely every single thing they've ever created. Art just doesn't work that way.

So these days, I'm more into "runs." I'm looking for that combination of creators who absolutely get the characters they're working with. That happens all the time in independent, creator-owned comics, but it's rare in the work-for-hire superhero world. Every once in a while though you'll get Stan Lee and Jack Kirby on The Fantastic Four. Or Stan Lee on Spider-Man. Or Jim Shooter and then Paul Levitz on Legion of Super-Heroes. Or Walt Simonson on Thor. Or Chris Claremont on X-Men (at least during the first go-'round). Or Frank Miller on Daredevil. Or Neal Adams on Batman. Or David Michelinie and Bob Layton on Iron Man. Or Mark Waid on The Flash. Or Ed Brubaker and Steve Epting on Captain America. Or Greg Pak on Hulk. Or Jeff Parker on Agents of Atlas and X-Men: First Class. Or Gail Simone on Birds of Prey and Wonder Woman.

That's a long list, but there are so many others I could mention. Those are the great superhero comics and they're the standard I'm trying to use these days. I'm trying imperfectly, because dang it I do like Alpha Flight and Black Canary, but I'm trying. I even passed up a recent issue of Marvel Adventures Iron Man because it made Alpha Flight look stupid and amateurish. I wouldn't have cared a few years ago. I'd have had to have it anyway just because it was them. These days, I try to have standards.

Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch's Fantastic Four doesn't meet those standards. This most recent issue has a few examples of why that is, which is why it's my last issue of the series until a new team comes on. And that's kind of ironic, because Millar's Civil War was at least part of the reason I started reading Fantastic Four in the first place. I'd always sort of liked the Thing and the Invisible Woman, but it was Millar's horribly out-of-character writing of Reed Richards in Civil War that made me curious about checking out FF to see how the Invisible Woman would respond to him.

When Dwayne McDuffie took over the book after Civil War, I stuck with it and was glad I did because McDuffie's an idea machine and filled the series with lots of cool, crazy adventures. The Michael Turner covers were a drawback, but I could deal with those to get at McDuffie's stories.

Millar and Hitch though are doing some things that I really hate. Their story has a cool idea at its core though. A think tank of scientists has constructed a duplicate of Earth so that when the real version is inevitably destroyed humanity has a place to go to. Of course the scientists can't help but make a few "improvements" as long as they're starting from scratch, so they build in some rules and safeguards to make sure that they'll have ultimate power in the new world. It's an interesting twist on the old take-over-the-world scheme and it would be really snazzy if Millar and Hitch weren't taking so doggone long to unfold it.

Their dragging it out isn't even one of my big problems with it though. Millar's writing always seems to be winking at the audience and saying, "Yes, I know superheroes are dumb kid stuff, but I'll make it all realistic for you and we can pretend it's grown-up. But we all really know it's not."

His use of the term "costume" to describe superheroes is an example of that. Any time I hear that or "cape" or "tights" to describe superheroes, I hear a writer who's really not comfortable in the genre. He's not embracing it, so he's got to poke a little fun at one of the tropes - the superhero costume.

But you know what? Superheroes are dumb kid stuff. That doesn't mean adults can't enjoy it. I think we should. But then, I also like The Wiggles. There's absolutely nothing wrong with grown-ups liking some kid stuff. And I don't even have a problem with superhero comics that cover some heavy themes. But damn it, Millar, if you can't call a superhero a superhero with a straight face, you should find something else to write about.

I'd cut Millar some slack if this was somehow in character for Johnny Storm to speak derogatorily of his profession, but as irreverent a character as he is, he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who's embarrassed by what he does.

He is in Millar's Fantastic Four though. Last issue, he tried to tell a cute supervillain that he's not really a crimefighter. And while technically he's not (the Fantastic Four are really a family of adventurers, not vigilantes), he's certainly done more than his share of fighting crime over the years and I don't understand his quibbling over the semantics in the middle of a fight.

Of course, I also don't get why he'd rather sleep with a cute supervillain and let her go in the morning than put her behind bars, but Millar has him doing that too.

Okay, wait, I do get why he'd rather do that. I just don't buy that he actually would. Especially the letting her go in the morning part.

Enough about Johnny. The rest of my problem has to do with what happens when the Nu-World scientists' secret weapon gets loose on the real Earth. Again, the weapon is a cool idea. It's a giant robot called Conserve and Protect; CAP for short, and it's even painted to look like Captain America. But it's an idea that's presented in as dull and boring a manner as possible.

When the Fantastic Four (minus Reed Richards, who's off planet at the time) are called in to battle the robot, they go in expecting to join forty of the biggest hitting superheroes in the Marvel Universe. When they don't see any of the others, they and their think tank liaison call in to check up. "Where are they?" they ask.

"What are you talking about?" comes the response. "They got there about eight minutes ago."

So, the Fantastic Four look around and see this:



Look who's there lying unconscious. There are some lightweights, but you also have Storm, Ares, Iron Man, the Vision, Wonder Man, Ms. Marvel, and the freaking Sentinel. I don't care how tough CAP is supposed to be, it should've taken a lot longer than eight minutes to put down any one of that group. And even - just to give Millar the benefit of the doubt - if CAP could take them all out so fast and so easily, why the heck didn't we get to see it? I certainly would rather have seen three pages of that fight than three pages of Johnny Storm getting yelled at by his manager for missing band practice. I mean, honestly.

But then again, when the heroes regain consciousness and resume the fight, this incomprehensible mess is what we get:



I can't tell what's going on there, but I'm starting to figure out why we don't get more pages of fighting. There's no choreography; it's just a bunch of superheroes flying around, some of whom are unconvincingly attacking the robot. We get one other panel of the fight beside this one and it's just as bad. Millar and Hitch are faking it and they're not even faking it well.

And then on the next page, they quit even trying to fake it and just have some guys in a room describe the rest of the fight.



That's Mr. Fantastic on the speaker by the way. Fresh back from outer space and rarin' to go. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. The giant robot has kicked the butt of every single Marvel hero there is off panel, but now we're supposed to get excited because Mr. Fantastic is on the way.

I'm so done.

Adventureblog Gallery: Spies, Sinbad, Powerpuff Girls, and a dragon motorsickle

The name is Bond



By Cary Nord.

Spy Girl



By Dub.

Powerpuff Girls



By Sarah Mensinga.

Sinbad



By Pierre Alary.

Dragonbike



Via.

Awesome List: Spooky comics, Hellboy 3, nightmare playgrounds, the B-52s, and more

"The Haunted Forest"

I'm linking to some short comics stories today. The first one is "The Haunted Forest" from Web of Evil #15. I've always loved spooky, bare trees with faces and finger-like branches. And giant spiders.

I really need to pay more attention to music

When the B-52s have a new album out and I don't know it... that's just very, very sad.

"The Headless Monster of Bloodrock Castle"

It's cool enough that there was a '40s pulp comic about about a war correspondent who fought crime and enemy spies in a rubber Halloween mask.

It's even cooler that he occasionally tussled with headless suits of armor.

Hellboy 3, but that's it

Guillermo del Toro has an idea for Hellboy 3, but he doesn't want to push the franchise past that point.

If there was ever a third one, I would really make sure that we at least sign a contract that there is no more. No prequels and no sequels: nothing. If that happens, then there is a third one we have planned, and the seeds are planted in this film...

The idea for me is to bring back the Nazis characters, but bring them back in a way they would operate now. Meaning, what public face would the Nazis have in 2009/2010? How rich would they be? How in charge could they be? It's not this group of freakies that hide in the sewers, but people that are incredibly rich.

"Gorilla Man"

I'm a huge fan of Jeff Parker's Agents of Atlas. (Okay, I know it's really Marvel's Agents of Atlas, but I still think of it as Parker's.) Where else are you going to find a talking gorilla, a killer robot, a spaceman, an undersea queen, and the goddess of Love fighting evil spy organizations? Nowhere, that's where.

And having fallen in love with the team, I'm pleased as punch that Karswell has posted the Golden Age origin of said talking gorilla: Gorilla Man.

Pirate Freedom

SF Signal really liked Gene Wolf's time traveling pirate story, Pirate Freedom. I've already got it on my Amazon Wish List, but this review makes me want to add it again.

"She's just CGIed that way"

Those real-life versions of Homer Simpson and Mario were just creepy, but... okay, this one's creepy too, but in a sort of hot way.



Wolverine: First Class

As much as I'm enjoying Jeff Parker's (there's that name again) X-Men: First Class, my Wolverine ennui runs deep enough that I wasn't even tempted to try Wolverine: First Class. I figured I'd buy the Alpha Flight issue when it came out, but that would be it.

That is until I read that another upcoming issue will feature Shang Chi: Master of Kung Fu. If Fred Van Lente's cool enough to want to include both Alpha Flight and Shang Chi in his comic, I'm not going to be able to ignore him. If he announces he's got an upcoming Rocket Raccoon issue, my head will explode.

Nightmare Playgrounds



I wouldn't want to send my son to any of these scary playgrounds, but man they look cool to go to as an adult. (Via.)

Truth Serum

One of my new favorite web comics. Really funny, low key superhero stuff. (I'll tell you about my other new favorite later this week. If you're reading the Newsarama blog, you already know about it.)

Adventureblog Gallery: More Indy and Superheroes (and some dinosaurs)

Black Canary



By Andie Tong.

Marvel superheroes



By Otis Frampton.

Indiana Jones

By Eric Tan.

Dinosaur fight!



By Mark Schultz.

Spider-Tarzan



Via.

Adventureblog Theater: Indiana Jones and More Superheroes Than You Can Shake a Stick At

Animated Nexus

Why oh why isn't this a TV series yet?!



Via.

The Spirit trailer

Classic Will Eisner character + Sin City + the theme from The Untouchables movie = I don't care anymore.



Via.

That old Justice League movie from the '80s

Starring Charles Emerson Winchester III as Martian Manhunter. That tells you everything you need to know right there.

Part One



Part Two



Part Three



Part Four



Part Five



Part Six



Part Seven



Part Eight



Part Nine



Indiana Jones and the Song of Theme

Simply. Awesome.



Via.

Awesome List Catch-Up: Part Three

Okay. More catching up with Awesome news from Blogarama.

Another Blue Beetle interview

I followed up my interview with the writer of Blue Beetle's all-Spanish issue by breaking the news about the series' new, regular writer: Jack of Fables' Matt Sturges. Hopefully you can't tell it from the interviews, but I've never read an issue of Blue Beetle before now. These conversations have made me want to change that though, so I'll be picking up the Spanish issue this week as well as checking out Matt's run. And I just bought the collection of the first six issues in the series.

There's a new poster for the Incredible Hulk movie



And again, it's got a great Bill Bixby vibe that's making me hungry to see it.

Atlantis Rising

I don't read Platinum Comics because the vibe I get is that they're all movie pitches first and comics second. I'd rather read comics by people who just really want to make comics.

That's not to say that there aren't some nifty movie ideas in their concepts though, so I'm actually curious to see more about the Atlantis Rising movie. I loves me some Atlantis stories.

Black Panther: The Animated Series

I got tired of the Black Panther comic once it got caught up in Civil War and became a second Fantastic Four title, but if the cartoon is anything like the early issues, I'll be all over it.

Three Days in Europe movie

Back when I was actively trying to expand my tastes with some genres I don't typically read, I thought I'd give Three Days in Europe a try thinking it was a Romance comic. It was, but it was also a crime/spy/adventure comic and it was really good. So I'm happy that it's getting made into a movie starring Hugh Jackman and Jennifer Garner.

New Crystal Skull pics

Can be found here. None of them really grabbed me, but there they are.

Another Spirit poster



I like this one. It looks more like a Will Eisner splash page and less like Sin City 2. I'd prefer it not be in black-and-white though.

New X-Files comics

I never used to read X-Files comics when the show was still on even though one of my favorite writers, John Rozum, was writing them. Comics based on currently-being-produced TV shows are always creatively tied by the need to not contradict the show they're based on. That might not be as big a problem now that X-Files is an infrequent movie series though, so I'm likely to give this a shot.

Women of DC poster by Adam Hughes



This was a giveaway at the New York Comic Con. Man, I love Adam Hughes.

From left to right: Catwoman, Oracle, Zatanna, Black Canary, Power Girl, Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Batwoman, Vixen, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn.

Supergirl for kids

Fans have been clamoring for a more kid-friendly (or, more specifically, young-girl-friendly) Supergirl comic for a while now. Looks like they're finally getting it.

Marvel Apes



Coming soon to a superhero universe near you. I sort of wish they were all gorillas, but how can you not make the webslinger a spider monkey? Well done, Marvel.

Catching up with the Awesome List

Something's been bugging me since I turned over the Awesome List to Newsarama and that's that I know some of you reading this are interested in those news bits but aren't going to start reading the whole Newsarama blog for them. So rather than just drop the feature here completely, I think I'm going to start doing a recap, not only of the Newsarama Awesome List, but any other items from that blog that especially catch my attention. You'll be getting the items a day later than Newsarama readers will, but you'll be getting them.

For the sake of completeness I'm going to go back to when I stopped doing the feature here, so some of this will be old news until I get caught up.

Pulp-inspired DC superhero covers



Space Devil and Frankenstein

Star Wars mash-up toys; vikings vs. Nazis vs. dinosaurs

Jonah Hex joins the JLA?

Red 5's Afterburn heads to Hollywood. It's a cool comic - at least as far as I can tell so far - but the real exciting part about this news is that it makes an Atomic Robo movie that much more possible.

X-Files 2 has a poster.




American Godzilla '94: The Webcomic.

Madagascar 2; why the Bionic Woman remake failed.

New Lone Ranger movie

Indy TV ad, Tikiware, John Hughes, Paleo-Future, and Calling All Robots

Red 5 Comics in June, Fantasy Classics (featuring Frankenstein), and some nonsense about Mr. T.

That catches us up through the end of March.