10 Movies I Dug from 2014

20. The Maze Runner



I was a bit disappointed that The Maze Runner is more interested in setting up a series than in telling a complete story on its own, but even though it's only a partial story, it tells it in a captivating way. I love how it dumped me into the world cold and made me learn about it along with the main character. And the supporting characters and group dynamics all held my attention, too. Towards the end, the movie gets ridiculous about withholding information to prolong suspense, but I like everything else enough that I'm looking forward to the sequel.

19. John Wick



Total surprise. I knew nothing about this before it came out and if I had known about it, I probably would've ignored it. I enjoy Keanu Reeves most when he's playing air guitar with Alex Winter, not as the wooden tough guy. Some positive reviews piqued my interest though, and I agree with them that John Wick is a fun and exciting movie that almost parodies '80s action flicks, but really ends up just hugging them.

18. Muppets Most Wanted



As a sequel to The Muppets, this was very disappointing. That movie set a high bar and I'm not sure that Muppets Most Wanted even tried to top it. As Muppet films go, it's average; neither among the best nor the worst. If I let it stand on its own though and compare it to most of the other movies I saw this year, its still very funny (especially the Ty Burrell/Sam the Eagle team-up) and I had a great time watching it.

17. The Expendables 3



I didn't enjoy the first Expendables movie really at all, except for the novelty of seeing those actors together in a single film. I was disappointed by the plot and by how little Bruce Willis and Schwarzenegger were in it. The Expendables 2 was a lot better, but Chuck Norris' goofy, squeezed-in-sideways cameo was a big downer. The Expendables 3 was the one I've been waiting for. Lots of my favorite action stars and some of them in small roles, but those small roles made sense for the story and everyone had at least one great moment. The story itself is nothing special, but man I love these actors and the final showdown is a legitimately great set piece.

16. Grand Piano



Like a few other movies on my lists this year, Grand Piano is technically a 2013 release, but I'm going by the dates the movies were made available to people in the US outside of just New York, LA, and film festivals. Grand Piano isn't a perfect thriller, but it's a really good one with Elijah Wood as a troubled pianist who has to save himself and others while playing a concert and not missing a single note. It's overrating it to compare it to Hitchcock's best work, but if you like Hitchcock-like thrillers with normal people trying to make it through someone else's outlandish scheme, I highly recommend this one.

15. Neighbors



Hilarious, but also surprisingly poignant. Could have just been a Revenge of the Nerds-style war between squares and popular people, but instead it takes the time to explore fears of growing up, on both sides of the battle lines.

14. Sin City: A Dame to Kill For



Coming out nine years after the first one killed this movie. If it had been released in 2006 or so, it would have been embraced as more of what people liked about Sin City. There's not a thing wrong with it that wasn't also wrong with the first one; it's a perfectly good companion piece. But waiting so long gave people the chance to forget the first one and wonder, "Why make a sequel now?" It feels kind of pointless. Unless of course you really dug the first one and are glad to have another movie just like it. Which is where I'm sitting.

13. Interstellar



Interstellar is both way more and way less than I wanted it to be. There's a lot going on in it, but at just under three hours long, it still doesn't pay enough attention to any of it's many characters and themes. There are things that I love, like Matthew McConaughey's relationship with his young daughter, and the questions the movie raises about the limits of selflessness and altruism. Sadly, it never develops these very well. But I like it for trying, I like it for its awesome cast, and I like it for its stunning visuals and unforgettable set pieces. I wish the final picture was better, but it's pieces are amazing.

12. Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit



I almost forgot I reviewed this one, but I did, so I'll send you there. Short version is that the plot is pretty boilerplate (as is Kenneth Branagh's villain, sadly), but I like that Chris Pine's Jack Ryan is still an analyst first and gets dragged into the spy stuff sort of kicking and screaming. What makes the movie though are Keira Knightley and Kevin Costner, who bring a lot of heart and depth to characters who could have been nothing.

11. 22 Jump Street



As much as I was pleasantly surprised by 21 Jump Street, that's exactly why I wasn't excited about the sequel. Now that I knew what to expect, how could 22 Jump Street possibly surprise me again? Wouldn't it just be more of the same? Well, yeah, except that "the same" means that it's still really funny and has a pair of completely lovable leads. It screws around with the formula of the first one though just enough to be fresh and it also adds some great new actors (especially Jillian Bell who nearly steals the movie).

31 Days of Dracula | Count von Count (1972)

Kids love monsters, so the only surprising thing about Sesame Street's introducing a Lugosi-esque vampire to teach counting was that it took them four seasons to get around to it. Because of his Dracula inspiration, the Count has always been one of my favorite Muppets. I love his castle, his Countmobile, the way he laughs maniacally after finishing a numeric sequence, and I especially love "The Batty Bat."

Sadly, we lost Jerry Nelson this year, who performed the Count from his first appearance. Matt Vogel is the current Count.

Too Much Information, Part One

Jaquandor answered these questions at Byzantium's Shores last week and it's been a while since I've done one of these too. They're good questions, though I've edited them for length and...well, timeliness, I guess. The original questions included the inspiration for asking them and - as Jaquandor points out - that dated the thing in a way it didn't need to.

So here's more than you wanted to know about me.

1. Have you ever been bothered by a TV show or movie series changing actors who play a character you love?



Not recently. When I was a kid, I remember losing whatever interest I had in Days of Our Lives when they swapped out Bo Bradys. Bo was pretty cool and I couldn’t buy the new actor. I guess they changed him back eventually, but my Days curiosity was always shaky at best, so I never came back.

The one that still bothers me is another old one: all the Felix Leiters in the James Bond movies. Some people think that replacing Felix actors every movie is funny or somehow endearing, but it’s not. Felix is a cool character in the novels and it bugs me that none of the movie fans know who I’m talking about because they can’t put a face to him. I was thrilled when Jeffrey Wright showed up again for Quantum of Solace, but it's too bad the character apparently isn’t in Skyfall at all.

2. What are some things people should know before spending time with you?



My eyes will begin to glaze over the moment you start talking about sports and I’ll have completely checked out by the time that conversation reaches the 30-second mark.

3. What is something you often do without realizing that you're doing it?



According to my wife, I have a Look. It’s the one that says you’re making absolutely no sense and I’m going to stop listening to you in 3…2…1…

This is related to Question No. 2. I’m an introvert and interacting with people one-on-one is hard work for me. Sometimes - though I try hard to hide it - I just don’t have the energy. I do a much better job at hiding it when I’m with people I don’t know that well though. Which leads me to…

4. Who has the capacity to make you angrier than anyone else in your life, and what in particular does he or she do to make you so angry?



My wife. I’m not going to get into particulars, because they aren’t important. Everyone has buttons that – when pushed – will get them going and I’m no different. Diane and I have a fantastic relationship and work hard not to push each other’s buttons, but when you’ve been married for a while (fifteen years for us, so far), you’re inevitably going to slip up every once in a while. I’d much rather focus on and celebrate how much we’ve been able to become a smoothly functioning team, but the question is about who has the capacity to tick you off and that’s always going to be the person you’re closest to.

5. If a fairy waved a magic wand and gave you the house of your dreams, where would it be and what features would it have?



A castle on the Scottish coast, but with central heat and air conditioning, and a modern kitchen and bathrooms. Also, a fireplace large enough to walk into.

6. What’s a belief that you hold with which many people disagree?



I’ve never had a conversation with anyone with whom I’ve seen totally eye-to-eye about God. I believe that the universe didn’t just happen – that it had to come from somewhere – but I don’t believe that the Genesis account should be read literally as an answer to that question. I also believe that the central message of Christianity is that people are supposed to love and take care of each other, but when I look at Christianity at large, I feel very alone in that interpretation.

7. If you were talking in your sleep tonight, what do you think you would say?



“I’ll nail yer suckers to the mast, ye scurvy squid!” (Totally stole that image from Stephen Keane. I'm sorry.)

8. Have you ever attended a midnight premiere showing of a movie?



I used to do this all the time, but as it became standard practice for theaters to run midnight showings, it became less of an event and I lost interest. By “event,” I mean an event for me personally. Obviously it’s still an event for a lot of people, but it became less fun for me and I’m rarely so excited about a new movie that I’ve got to see it the second it comes out. The last one may have been Pirates of the Caribbean 3, but I don’t rightly recall.

I could see myself doing it for The Hunger Games, though. I’m pretty stoked about that one.

9. How would you react if you saw, “Caution exotic animals; stay in your vehicle,” displayed on a road sign?



I’d roll up those windows and keep an eye out, but I’m not a panicky person. If I actually saw a tiger or something, I’d probably stop to gawk, depending on the animal’s mood.

10. If a company opened a theme park aimed at adults, what would you name one of the rides?



Alien vs. Predator: The Hunt. You would, of course, be the prey.

11. Imagine you just moved onto Sesame Street. Which puppet would you want as your new roommate?



I have a low tolerance for drama and shenanigans, so I’ll go with Kermit. He’s funny, but grounded.

12. Have you ever had a weird crush on a famous person that didn't make sense to you?



Matt Damon, because I’m straight. I understand all my crushes on famous women.

13. If you get ten minutes to interview any celebrity of your choice, who would you like it to be?



Bono. I’m currently reading his Conversation with Michka Assayas, so that may answer most of the actual questions I’ve got, but he was a hugely influential force on my life in my twenties, so I’d also just like to meet him.

14. You've just won the complete DVD collection of all the movies starring one actor or actress. Which actor/actress would you pick?



I used to try to collect all the movies by actors I liked. I accumulated a ton of stuff by Harrison Ford, Kenneth Branagh, and Sandra Bullock, but eventually learned that – like with all artists – I didn’t care for every single thing they did. But since I’m winning this and not buying it, the Johnny Depp collection probably has the most movies in it that I’d re-watch again and again.

15. What is something you've said through social media and then regretted it?



Most of this post.

16. What musician would you be most interested in learning behind-the-scenes facts about?



Someone new that I don’t know much about. Like Brite Futures. I’m curious about their influences and their name change from Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head.

17. If you stumbled across someone's personal written journal that was accidentally left in a public place, would you read any of the content?



Just enough to see if I could tell who it was in order to return it to them. I’m not naturally curious about other people’s personal stuff.

18. What is the title of a self-help book that you'd never want to see on a store bookshelf?



Develop Jedi Self-Confidence: Unleash the Force within You. Oh, crap.

19. Which Halloween costume do you think will be overdone this year?



Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

20. Should a marriage license have a renewal date or expiration date, like a driver’s license?



I understand the reason for the question, but no. Actually, I’m not convinced we should have marriage licenses at all. I’m not a Libertarian, but marriage is a relationship that I’m not convinced that government (or a church, for that matter) should have any say about. Like most of life, we’ve overcomplicated something that’s very simple in concept (though extremely tough to execute in practice).

8 Movies I Loved in 2011

8. Attack the Block



Someone finally figured out that Huge Spectacle does not equal Good Alien Invasion Movie. What's more: this is actually a Great Alien Invasion Movie with awesome, inventive monster designs and characters I cared about. Making the characters likable was a special feat since the film tries hard (and succeeds) to make the audience hate them at first.

7. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2



My only problem with this movie is that it means there'll be no more Harry Potter movies. A fine end to a great series.

6. Hanna



Not just an action movie about a girl-assassin. I love how artfully it was shot and how the butt-kicking is alternated with quiet character moments as Hanna adjusts to life around people for the first time.

5. Crazy Stupid Love



Not only made me laugh and turned me into a Ryan Gosling fan; it made me think about relationships and commitment in a new way. The most underrated movie of the year.

4. Rise of the Planet of the Apes



I made sure I was good and pumped up for this movie by watching every Planet of the Apes movie and TV show ever made, but that could have backfired had Rise not lived up to expectations. It did a lot more than that though. It may just be the best Planet of the Apes movie yet.

3. The Muppets



I'm a muppet of a man.

2. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows



Though I kind of quit posting about it, I never gave up my dive into old Sherlock Holmes movies this past Fall. I made it through six of the Basil Rathbone films, watched The Seven-Per-Cent Solution and The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother, sat through half of the 1922 John Barrymore silent film, and finally saw Season One of the Benedict Cumberbatch series. What I learned from all that was to be really patient with people's taking different spins on Holmes. Which is to say that Guy Ritchie's is not Arthur Conan Doyle's Holmes, but I enjoy him in the same way I enjoy Tony Stark and Jack Sparrow (which is to say: considerably). And now that I'm used to him, I very much liked watching him run around Europe trying to stop Moriarty from killing Watson and taking over the world.

1. The Adventures of Tintin



The best Indiana Jones movie since Raiders of the Lost Ark, the best dog since Benji, the best 3D since Avatar, the best motion-capture since ever, and the best pirate battle since...well, ever too, I guess. Sorry, Gore Verbinski.

Top 10 Songs of 2011

10. "Indian Summer (Des Moines)" by Canon Blue



9. "Sutphin Boulevard" by Blood Orange



8. "You Were Never There" by Diego Garcia



7. "Helena Beat" by Foster the People



6. "We Sing in Time" by The Lonely Forest



5. "It's Real" by Real Estate



4. "Holdin' on to Black Metal" by My Morning Jacket



3. "Wetsuit" by The Vaccines



2. "Money" by The Drums



1. "Man or Muppet" by Jason Segal and Walter

Old Sinner: Michael Caine (1992)

The Muppet Christmas Carol opens with an overture of the music it'll feature throughout the movie, but there are some sleigh bells early on - and of course the name of the movie - to put you in the holiday spirit.

It also, like so many of the other adaptations, starts with the London skyline, including Saint Paul's cathedral off in the distance. As the credits and the orchestra play, the camera pulls back farther and farther, but instead of revealing the expanse of the old city it stays low over the rooftops, creating intimacy with the place. As the camera skims over buildings, barely clearing some of them, it creates a mystery about what's going on inside or in the street below.

Finally, the shot pulls down next to a roof and pans enough to reveal the street. It's a Christmas scene with lots of Victorian shoppers walking around and cheerfully greeting each other. The camera keeps panning though and on a low arch we see a small, frog-like creature eating a carrot. If you didn't already know about the Muppets, this would be your first hint that this isn't "our" London. The camera keeps moving down, getting us closer to the street, and we see a couple of pigs in Victorian clothing talking about their last meal while planning their next. (Sounds like post-dinner conversation at my parents' house, actually.) As the camera keeps moving, we notice that among London's human population a pig is driving a carriage full of talking melons, a dog throws snowballs at a frog and a chicken, and creepy monsters lurk on rooftops. All of this is apparently normal.

If you do know the Muppets, the first recognizable face is Lew Zealand who's on the street hawking his boomerang fish. Near him though are Gonzo the Great and Rizzo the Rat, running an apple stand. Rizzo's making it difficult by eating most of the stock, but the two stop arguing once they notice the audience. Gonzo welcomes us to the movie and claims to be Charles Dickens, something that Rizzo finds hard to believe. They argue about this until Rizzo tells Gonzo to prove his identity by telling us the story of A Christmas Carol, something that Gonzo is happy to do.

"The Marleys were dead to begin with," he says before being interrupted by Rizzo. There are a lot of interruptions in Gonzo's intro, with Rizzo playing the part of an audience unfamiliar with the story. He shivers at the creepiness of the death theme and expresses curiosity about the Marleys' surviving business partner. (We'll critique the decision to pluralize Scrooge's late partner another year.) Gonzo also identifies Scrooge's occupation for us: "a shrewd moneylender." Gonzo points him out as he comes around a corner and the music begins again.

"There he is," Gonzo says. "Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge." Michael Caine's version, mostly in shadow at first, stalks London's streets with the entitlement of an English Lord and the menace of Jack the Ripper. His black cloak snaps in the wind as he passes.

"Say," asks Rizzo, "is it getting colder out here?" He shivers again.

Scrooge strikes the cobblestones with his cane in loud raps. He doesn't need it to walk, but it succeeds in making him look powerful and important. Between it and the tapping of his shoes, he's keeping time to the music as a couple of human-looking Muppets watch him and begin to sing. Soon, the entire neighborhood is joining in, canorously complaining about how mean and nasty Scrooge is.

The song does most of the work of introducing Scrooge's personality, though Gonzo jumps in at one point with some quotes from Dickens. The song finally ends with Scrooge at his place of business, spinning towards the crowd so that we can finally see his face as he disperses the crowd with a glare.

"Humbug," he says; mostly to himself.

He enters the building and we linger on the sign next to the door. It still says Scrooge & Marley, but it's a nice sign. Scrooge is well-dressed too. Caine's version isn't such a miser that he's unwilling to show off a little.

After some more quoting and color-commentary by Gonzo and Rizzo, we join Scrooge inside where he confronts a customer. Behind Scrooge, Kermit the Frog scribbles away with a quill.

"Bob Cratchit?" says Scrooge. He looks bored by the shaking, fearful client. He points his cane in the unfortunate man's face. "Who is this?"

Cratchit explains that it's Mr. Applegate here to talk about his mortgage. Kermit's Cratchit seems unaffected by Scrooge's posturing. He pauses before the word mortgage, knowing what Scrooge's response will be and not really relishing it, but for the most part he keeps scribbling away. He's seen all this before.

Mr. Applegate begins to ramble on with excuses and apologies and requests not to be yelled at. Scrooge ignores him and lets him babble, going into his office to put away his cape, hat, and cane. When Scrooge is done, he says not a word, but returns to pick up Applegate - who's still explaining - and toss him into the street. During this, we see that Cratchit's not the only clerk in the business. There's also quite a large staff of rats who are considerably more nervous than Cratchit.

Scrooge tells Cratchit he wants to deal with the eviction notices for tomorrow. When Cratchit complains that tomorrow is Christmas, Scrooge says, "Very well. You may gift-wrap them."

The rats take the huge stack of notices and some slapstick ensues as Scrooge explains why Christmas is such a busy time for them. "People preparing feasts; giving parties; spending the mortgage money on frivolities." He's working as he says it; barely looking up. It's almost as if he's coaching Cratchit. Caine's is an arrogant Scrooge, so he obviously doesn't see Cratchit as a peer, but he does seem to think of Cratchit as a trusted employee. Or at least a valuable member of the team. "One might say that December is the Foreclosure Season." He looks up at Cratchit with an ugly smile. "Harvest time for the moneylenders."

At this point the rats encourage Kermit to ask for an extra shovelful of coal for the fire. Once he's broken the ice about it they jump in and explain how cold they all are, being pretty obnoxious about it. Scrooge snaps at them and asks how they'd like to be unemployed, roaring the last word. Any tolerance he shows the competent Cratchit isn't shared with the rats. They get all the venom that most versions of the story reserve for poor Bob.

When Cratchit observes, "I believe you've convinced them once again, Mr. Scrooge," Scrooge actually laughs. Partly because he's cowed the poor bookkeepers, sure, but it also looks like he's genuinely amused by Cratchit's dry humor.

I'm not sure I want to be talking about this yet, but one of the things that's most interesting to track from adaptation to adaptation is Scrooge's transformation. We've already started to notice the differences in portrayals of Scrooge's misery and I suspect that how Scrooge is introduced will affect the point at which he begins to change. I don't want to make any predictions yet except to notice that Caine's Scrooge - while in no way kind - starts with a bit of a leg up on the others thanks to his relative softness towards Cratchit. Having noticed this, I'd expect this Scrooge's biggest change to occur when he finally sees Cratchit's family. But it'll be a while before we see if I'm right.

I guess this is as good a time as any to mention that while this isn't one of my favorite Muppet movies, it is a solid Christmas Carol adaptation. A lot of it is played for laughs of course, but the essence of the story doesn't change and the movie makes some interesting choices to talk about. Cratchit is obviously more competent because he's being played by Kermit who always provides that kind of calmness in the midst of chaos, but it's also a legitimate way of interpreting the character. Such a fascinating contrast with David Warner's Cratchit from yesterday.

31 Days of Frankenstein: Muppet Halloween

The Halloween That Almost Wasn't (1979)



By the late '70s and early '80s, no one was taking the classic monsters seriously anymore. They'd been replaced by demons and serial killers and banished to children's programming and comedy bits. The Halloween That Almost Wasn't represents the former group, although according to the indispensable Frankensteinia, it's a very entertaining example.

Judd Hirsch plays Dracula and rounds up a bunch of other spooks - including Universal's version of the Frankenstein Monster - to convince Mariette Hartley's witch character to fly across the moon and kick off Halloween. There's slapstick, adorable moppets (not muppets; be patient), and disco. John Schuck, who played the Monster, went on to play bit parts in various Star Trek TV shows and movies (he's probably best known as the Klingon ambassador in Star Trek IV and VI) as well as Herman Munster in the reboot series, The Munsters Today.



The Muppets Go to the Movies (1981)



As part of the promotion for The Great Muppet Caper, ABC aired a one-hour TV special called The Muppets Go to the Movies in which Lily Tomlin and Dudley Moore helped the Muppets honor classic films like The Three Musketeers, The Wizard of Oz, Casablanca, Tarzan movies, and of course Frankenstein. The "Nephew of Frankenstein" bit featured Fozzie as the title character who interrupts his uncle (Dr. Strangepork from "Pigs in Space") in the creation of his Monster (played by Mulch, who's probably most famous for playing the Hunchback Notre Dame and chasing Debbie Harry around as she sings "One Way or Another" on her episode of The Muppet Show.)

It wasn't the only time the Muppets and Frankenstein hooked up. Miss Piggy and Kermit reenacted a scene from Bride of Frankenstein for the 1982 Miss Piggy calendar, the Monster's shown up in a couple of episodes of Muppet Babies, and IMDB mentions an appearance in next month's The Muppets.

Art Show: Muppets are Fantasy, Right?

An Unexpected Party



By Justin Gerard. [Illustrateurs]

Riddles in the Dark



By Dan Hipp. [Hey, Oscar Wilde! It's Clobberin' Time!]

The Siege of Gondor



By Jerry Vanderstelt. [Illustrateurs]

Cave Seekers



By Mike Maihack.

Barbarian



By Clio Chiang.

Red Sonja

By Laurie Breitkreuz. [Brother Cal]

The City of Never



By Sidney Sime. [Golden Age Comic Book Stories]

The Muppet Avengers

By Caanan Grall.