So here's more than you wanted to know about me.
1. Have you ever been bothered by a TV show or movie series changing actors who play a character you love?
Not recently. When I was a kid, I remember losing whatever interest I had in Days of Our Lives when they swapped out Bo Bradys. Bo was pretty cool and I couldn’t buy the new actor. I guess they changed him back eventually, but my Days curiosity was always shaky at best, so I never came back.
The one that still bothers me is another old one: all the Felix Leiters in the James Bond movies. Some people think that replacing Felix actors every movie is funny or somehow endearing, but it’s not. Felix is a cool character in the novels and it bugs me that none of the movie fans know who I’m talking about because they can’t put a face to him. I was thrilled when Jeffrey Wright showed up again for Quantum of Solace, but it's too bad the character apparently isn’t in Skyfall at all.
2. What are some things people should know before spending time with you?
My eyes will begin to glaze over the moment you start talking about sports and I’ll have completely checked out by the time that conversation reaches the 30-second mark.
3. What is something you often do without realizing that you're doing it?
According to my wife, I have a Look. It’s the one that says you’re making absolutely no sense and I’m going to stop listening to you in 3…2…1…
This is related to Question No. 2. I’m an introvert and interacting with people one-on-one is hard work for me. Sometimes - though I try hard to hide it - I just don’t have the energy. I do a much better job at hiding it when I’m with people I don’t know that well though. Which leads me to…
4. Who has the capacity to make you angrier than anyone else in your life, and what in particular does he or she do to make you so angry?
My wife. I’m not going to get into particulars, because they aren’t important. Everyone has buttons that – when pushed – will get them going and I’m no different. Diane and I have a fantastic relationship and work hard not to push each other’s buttons, but when you’ve been married for a while (fifteen years for us, so far), you’re inevitably going to slip up every once in a while. I’d much rather focus on and celebrate how much we’ve been able to become a smoothly functioning team, but the question is about who has the capacity to tick you off and that’s always going to be the person you’re closest to.
5. If a fairy waved a magic wand and gave you the house of your dreams, where would it be and what features would it have?
A castle on the Scottish coast, but with central heat and air conditioning, and a modern kitchen and bathrooms. Also, a fireplace large enough to walk into.
6. What’s a belief that you hold with which many people disagree?
I’ve never had a conversation with anyone with whom I’ve seen totally eye-to-eye about God. I believe that the universe didn’t just happen – that it had to come from somewhere – but I don’t believe that the Genesis account should be read literally as an answer to that question. I also believe that the central message of Christianity is that people are supposed to love and take care of each other, but when I look at Christianity at large, I feel very alone in that interpretation.
7. If you were talking in your sleep tonight, what do you think you would say?
“I’ll nail yer suckers to the mast, ye scurvy squid!” (Totally stole that image from Stephen Keane. I'm sorry.)
8. Have you ever attended a midnight premiere showing of a movie?
I used to do this all the time, but as it became standard practice for theaters to run midnight showings, it became less of an event and I lost interest. By “event,” I mean an event for me personally. Obviously it’s still an event for a lot of people, but it became less fun for me and I’m rarely so excited about a new movie that I’ve got to see it the second it comes out. The last one may have been Pirates of the Caribbean 3, but I don’t rightly recall.
I could see myself doing it for The Hunger Games, though. I’m pretty stoked about that one.
9. How would you react if you saw, “Caution exotic animals; stay in your vehicle,” displayed on a road sign?
I’d roll up those windows and keep an eye out, but I’m not a panicky person. If I actually saw a tiger or something, I’d probably stop to gawk, depending on the animal’s mood.
10. If a company opened a theme park aimed at adults, what would you name one of the rides?
Alien vs. Predator: The Hunt. You would, of course, be the prey.
11. Imagine you just moved onto Sesame Street. Which puppet would you want as your new roommate?
I have a low tolerance for drama and shenanigans, so I’ll go with Kermit. He’s funny, but grounded.
12. Have you ever had a weird crush on a famous person that didn't make sense to you?
Matt Damon, because I’m straight. I understand all my crushes on famous women.
13. If you get ten minutes to interview any celebrity of your choice, who would you like it to be?
Bono. I’m currently reading his Conversation with Michka Assayas, so that may answer most of the actual questions I’ve got, but he was a hugely influential force on my life in my twenties, so I’d also just like to meet him.
14. You've just won the complete DVD collection of all the movies starring one actor or actress. Which actor/actress would you pick?
I used to try to collect all the movies by actors I liked. I accumulated a ton of stuff by Harrison Ford, Kenneth Branagh, and Sandra Bullock, but eventually learned that – like with all artists – I didn’t care for every single thing they did. But since I’m winning this and not buying it, the Johnny Depp collection probably has the most movies in it that I’d re-watch again and again.
15. What is something you've said through social media and then regretted it?
Most of this post.
16. What musician would you be most interested in learning behind-the-scenes facts about?
Someone new that I don’t know much about. Like Brite Futures. I’m curious about their influences and their name change from Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head.
17. If you stumbled across someone's personal written journal that was accidentally left in a public place, would you read any of the content?
Just enough to see if I could tell who it was in order to return it to them. I’m not naturally curious about other people’s personal stuff.
18. What is the title of a self-help book that you'd never want to see on a store bookshelf?
Develop Jedi Self-Confidence: Unleash the Force within You. Oh, crap.
19. Which Halloween costume do you think will be overdone this year?
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
20. Should a marriage license have a renewal date or expiration date, like a driver’s license?
I understand the reason for the question, but no. Actually, I’m not convinced we should have marriage licenses at all. I’m not a Libertarian, but marriage is a relationship that I’m not convinced that government (or a church, for that matter) should have any say about. Like most of life, we’ve overcomplicated something that’s very simple in concept (though extremely tough to execute in practice).
