A lot of people give the Underworld movies a hard time, but I genuinely and unironically love them. So when I heard that the creators of that were taking on my favorite monster of all time, I didn't expect the bland, forgettable mess that it it was. My hope was that if it was bad it would at least fail spectacularly, but it doesn't take enough chances for that. It's not awful, it's just lukewarm, and that's the worse crime.
34. Transformers: Age of Extinction
I thought I'd given up on the Transformers movies after the second one and didn't see the third, but they pulled me back in with dinosaurs. And I admit that Pain and Gain softened some of my distaste for Michael Bay movies. Age of Extinction has all of Bay's usual flaws though and the dinosaurs don't even show up until the final act, so I think I can safely say that I'm out again. Unless Stanley Tucci comes back, because he's awesome and his character is awesome and I pretty much want a movie that's just about him. But please lets not have any Transformers or Michael Bay in it.
33. This Is Where I Leave You
I love these big family comedy-dramas with huge casts and my mouth was watering to watch one with Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, and Timothy Olyphant in it. It has its funny moments, but sadly the characters don't feel like real people. Instead, they're just problems in need of solutions and the only answers the movie has for them are trite and unconvincing.
32. The November Man
Though the Pierce Brosnan Bond films are my least-favorite run in that series, it's not because of Brosnan and I usually like him in other kinds of spy movies. But this isn't one of his better ones. It makes a brave choice in pitting Brosnan's older spy against his younger protege and not giving the audience an easy choice of whom to root for. Unfortunately, that approach backfires. Both men are seriously screwed up and both have moments of heroism, but they're balanced so well against each other that I gave up caring who would win. Instead, I focused on Olga Kurylenko. Which isn't a horrible option. She's not a main character and doesn't get enough screen time, but when she is there she's pretty great.
31. The Monuments Men
I wrote a pretty thorough post on my problems with The Monuments Men, but the short version is that while it has a great cast and characters I cared about, it asked me to take their mission more seriously than it did. I wanted either a fun heist movie or a film that would make me feel deeply about the importance of art, but by trying to be something in between, The Monuments Men is neither of those things.
