Showing posts with label lxb. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lxb. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

LXB | When House jumped the shark



Having taken a deep breath after Halloween, I can now get back to League of Extraordinary Bloggers topics; something I'm excited to do. This week's assignment:

At what point did a pop culture series “jump the shark” and lose your interest?

I'll talk about House in a minute, but first I want to clarify something about shark-jumping. I had an epiphany about this a year ago when DC rolled out the New 52. I wrote an article about it for Robot 6 called "DC Comics and the Shattered Illusion." The premise was that "serialized fiction – whether in comics, TV, or even the movies – presents an illusion that it knows what it’s doing. That there’s a master plan being followed and if you’ll just stick with the story, all will be revealed and eventually concluded in an emotionally satisfying way that makes complete sense. This is of course crap." It's crap for superhero comics, it's crap for Star Wars, and it's crap for every J.J. Abrams show ever. 98% of the time, the creators have no idea how the series will end when they start it. They just introduce a great premise and hope for the best.

That realization helped me define what I mean when I use the term Jump the Shark. Instead of a vague realization that I've simply lost interest in a series, the Jump the Shark moment has become the point at which the illusion is shattered and I realize the creators have no idea where the story is going. According to Wikipedia, that was more or less the original usage of the term: "The point in a television program's history when the program had outlived its freshness and viewers had begun to feel that the show's writers were out of new ideas." One of the reasons I think Jump the Shark moments are hard to define though is because I don't believe that they're always followed by a complete lack of quality. House is an example of that.

For me, the show's Jump the Shark moment came about halfway through Season Seven with the episode "Bombshells." Three major things happen in it, but they're all connected. First, Cuddy finds blood in her urine and learns that she might have cancer. Second, at the end of the episode she breaks up with House because his reaction to her potential illness causes her to realize that he's not capable of having a real relationship. I was never a Huddy 'shipper, so I was cool with that, but I had a hard time with House's reaction to the breakup: He goes back on Vicodin.

After getting used to - and even liking - the idea that Gregory House was an unchangeable character for the first five years, the Season Five finale floored me by not only having him regret his drug addiction for the first time, but also check himself into a psychiatric hospital. To my complete shock, the show was moving forward and House was developing as a character.

He stayed on that course for all of Season Six and the first half of Season Seven. He was still an ass, but he was trying to be a better person. The show went from being a fun, mystery-of-the-week with a loveably loathable character to becoming an Actual Story. With "Bombshells" though, the writers seemed to have taken that development as far as they were comfortable. If House improved any more, he was in danger of losing his defining edge. So they pulled him back.

It's not that the show sucked after that. There were still some great, compelling episodes in the last season-and-a-half, but I was never able to take it as seriously again. Any further growth in House's character felt fake and cheap, because it was now just about getting him back to where he was in early Season Seven. I'd lost so much interest in the main character that I stuck with the show out of habit and curiosity, not because it was amazing TV anymore. Ultimately, I like where House ended up at the end of the series and I'm glad I stuck with it, but I had to fight some serious apathy there for a while.

Thursday, September 06, 2012

LXB | Some back-to-school motivation

This week's assignment from the League of Extraordinary Bloggers was simple:

Summer’s over, it’s time to go back to school! (Interpret it as you will.)

David wasn't that excited to head back to class this week, so I figured it was time for one of the hallmarks of great teaching: the Inspirational Speech.



Go get 'em, kids!

Friday, August 24, 2012

LXB | Saturday Morning Cartoons



This week's League of Extraordinary Bloggers assignment is extremely tough:

You’ve been hired to program the ultimate Saturday morning experience for kids across the nation. Create your own ideal Saturday morning cartoon schedule.

I have mixed feelings about the concept of Saturday morning cartoons. On the one hand, they were an enormous, fun part of my childhood. I'm not a morning person and had to be dragged out of bed every weekday to get to school, but come Saturday morning I was up by 6:00 am - without an alarm clock - to get my cereal with my brothers and sit in front of the TV to watch the test pattern until the first show came on. Then we'd camp out there until noon, which is about the time our folks started shooing us out of the house to play or help with chores.

Every fall we'd start looking in comics and newspapers for ads like the one above, figuring out our schedule for the coming season. Since there were three of us, that sometimes took some negotiation. Those are excellent memories and nostalgia for them makes me want to share that experience with my son. For a long time, I complained loudly about the death of the Saturday morning line-up and lamented the loss of the Good Old Days.

But like with most things, the Good Old Days of Saturday morning cartoons weren't as objectively Good as we remember. David and I are still able to share the fun of watching awesome cartoons, but we don't have to wait for a particular time slot on one day of the week to do it. What's more, we don't have to worry about scheduling conflicts if Super Friends is on at the same time as Scooby Doo. Or sit through lesser-of-evil shows because The Smurfs and Rubik's Cube are all that's on in that time slot. We have entire networks devoted to nothing but cartoons, and thanks to Netflix and TiVo, we can customize our experience. We can watch only the series and episodes that we want and we can marathon our favorites. My ten-year-old self would have shook with giddiness just imagining that something like that was possible. Frankly, as dear as I hold them in my memory, I don't want to go back to Saturday morning cartoons.

That said, if Cartoon Network gave me the job of coming up with a block of programming for Saturday mornings, I definitely have thoughts on how I'd fill that time. Based on my own memories of how those mornings went, I'd start my block around 6:00 am and finish up at noon. That's six hours of great cartoon watching.

There are a couple of ways to do this. I could fill that block with twelve of my favorite, half-hour shows, but there are some big disadvantages to that. First of all, I can only pick twelve shows, which is about impossible. Even worse, twelve shows don't fill 52 weeks of programming for the year unless I show a lot of reruns. I know that's what they used to do on Saturday mornings and - dang it - if it was good enough for us back then... but I think there's a better option.

I like the idea of six, hour-long, themed blocks of programming. That way you could work your way through a series (or a couple of half-hour shows in each block) and when you reached the last episode, start another series with a similar theme. Many of the shows I grew up with had shockingly short runs, but they felt like they were on longer because the networks re-ran them so many times. If you don't repeat them, you can get through a lot of great stuff over the course of a year. So here's how I'd split up the time and some of the shows I'd include in each block.

6:00 am: Comedy Hour

  • Looney Tunes
  • Tom and Jerry
  • Pretty much all the Hanna Barbera comedy stuff (Flintstones, Yogi Bear, etc.)
  • Early Popeye and Woody Woodpecker
  • Tiny Toons Adventures
  • Spongebob Squarepants

7:00 am: Teen Mystery Hour

  • Scooby Doo, Where Are You?
  • The New Scooby Doo Movies
  • Mystery, Inc.
  • Archie
  • Josie and the Pussycats
  • The Pebbles and Bam-Bam Show
  • Goober and the Ghost Chasers
  • Speed Buggy
  • Funky Phantom
  • Jabberjaw

8:00 am: Adventure Hour

  • Jonny Quest
  • Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle
  • Filmation's Lone Ranger and Zorro series
  • Hong Kong Phooey
  • Valley of the Dinosaurs
  • The Powerpuff Girls
  • Samurai Jack
  • Tutenstein
  • Codename: Kids Next Door
  • The Secret Saturdays

9:00 am: DC Superheroes Hour

  • Fleischer Superman
  • Adam West Batman
  • Super Friends
  • Live action Shazam!
  • The Secrets of Isis
  • Batman: The Animated Series
  • Superman: The Animated Series
  • Justice League Unlimited
  • Static Shock
  • Batman Beyond
  • The Batman
  • Batman: The Brave and the Bold
  • Beware the Batman

10:00 am: Marvel Superheroes Hour

  • '60s Spider-Man
  • Spidey Super Stories (those shorts that used to run on The Electric Company)
  • Live action Spider-Man show
  • Bill Bixby's Incredible Hulk
  • Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
  • '90s X-Men cartoon
  • X-Men: Evolution
  • The Spectacular Spider-Man
  • Wolverine and the X-Men
  • Marvel Super Hero Squad
  • The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes
  • Ultimate Spider-Man

11:00 am: SciFi Hour

  • Space Ghost
  • The Herculoids
  • Star Trek: The Animated Series
  • The New Adventures of Flash Gordon
  • Ark II
  • Planet of the Apes TV show
  • Land of the Lost
  • Classic Battlestar Galactica
  • Buck Rogers in the 25th Century 
  • Ben 10
  • The Future is Wild
  • Star Wars: The Clone Wars
  • Sym-Bionic Titan

And we're done at noon in time for lunch. I'm sure I missed some great ones in each category - especially more recent stuff - so please tell me what I should've included in the comments.

Friday, August 17, 2012

LXB | '80s high school mixtape



This week's League of Extraordinary Blogger's assignment is music-related:

What songs were forever being looped on your car’s stereo back in high school. A cassette could only hold a dozen or so songs, so that’s the magic number of songs to list.

I bought a lot of music in high school. I didn't have the technology to make a decent mixtape, but I worked in a grocery store next to a K-Mart and every payday I'd go next door and buy at least one cassette. I had a huge collection, but it's pretty easy to remember the albums that got the most play in my car. I drove a Chevy Suburban for most of high school, but my folks also had a Mitsubishi Dodge Colt Vista (the car was as odd as the name) that I ended up driving quite a bit as well. Fortunately, both had cassette decks.

I was all about New Wave, though seeing Purple Rain caused me to buy and wear out a couple of copies of that tape as well as Morris Day's album. That was the thing about cassettes. If you played them enough, you could literally wear them out by stretching the tape to the point that it was unlistenable.

Here are twelve of my most-played songs from those days.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The LXB recasts awesome movies



The League of Extraordinary Bloggers has finished recasting their favorite movies and there are some great ones in the bunch. A few of my favorites:
Brian has the whole round-up at Cool and Collected and there are lots to look at: from Three Amigos and Anne of Green Gables to Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! and Shoot to Kill. Check 'em out!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The 6 Greatest Roles of Kurt Russell

This week's assignment from the League of Extraordinary Bloggers is stunningly beautiful in its simplicity:

Kurt Russell

Since the field's wide open, I'm going with a pictorial trip through the man's greatest roles. Probably not any surprises here, but my aim is to celebrate, not educate. Let me know in the comments if I missed something.

In chronological order:

1. Snake Plissken (Escape from New York, Escape from L.A.)



2. R.J. MacReady (The Thing)



3. Jack Burton (Big Trouble in Little China)



4. Wyatt Earp (Tombstone)



5. Col. Jack O'Neil (Stargate)



6. Michael Zane (3000 Miles to Graceland)



Honorable mention: The jungle boy on that one episode of Gilligan's Island.

What's your favorite Kurt Russell role?

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The LXB adds to my list of favorite films



I'm going to take the week off from the LXB (I'm unqualified to talk about reality TV treasure hunters), but won't let that keep me from pointing out that last week's Top Ten Movies assignment was super popular and successful.

I especially love the themed lists that three of the members came up with, so I'll list those first.

But, as predicted, there were lots of movies that could easily have gone on my own list.
  • Pee Wee's Big AdventureSummer School, Back to the Future, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off [Flashlights Are Something to Eat]
  • Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and Monty Python and the Holy Grail [Life With Fandom]
  • Can't Buy Me Love and The Avengers (I debated including The Avengers on my list, but decided I needed some distance from it to give it an objective ranking. I'm glad to see not everyone was that shy, because my feeling is that it deserves to be there.) [Random Toy Reviews]
  • Terminator, Die Hard, and First Blood [Movie Hodge Podge]
  • This is Spinal Tap [That Figures, who gets bonus points for also picking Night of the Demon.]
  • Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, Aliens, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and Batman (1966) [My pal Erik Johnson]
  • The Crow [Jason Vorhees]
  • Lean On Me [Team Hellions]

Some of those were picked by multiple bloggers, so I linked to the one I saw first. Seriously, the LXB roll call on this one is full of great films, so if you're looking to kill some time, you should check them all out.


Friday, May 25, 2012

King Kong Tweets (and the LXB confesses!)



This week's League of Extraordinary Bloggers assignment is a little out of my - er - league. It's a fun idea (Take a peek at a fictional character’s social media account. What would his or her Twitter feed or Facebook page look like?) and I've seen it done really well on Fakebook, but constructing one of my own would require more time than I have this week. Instead, I'll point you toward Brian's (Cool and Collected) awesome and hilarious King Kong Twitter account. It's a thing of beauty and I hope he keeps it going for a long, long time.

In other LXB news, the League has made its geek confessions and there are some shockers. Like people who've never seen an episode of Star Trek, don't like Pixar (any Pixar), and love the New Monkees. To which I say: Vive la différence.

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

LXB | True Geek Confessions



This week's League assignment:

What is something you absolutely hate or love or just don’t get, or maybe it’s something you have never even seen or read. What is your deepest, darkest geek confession?

I came up with something that fits each of those categories.
  • Something I Hate That Everyone Else Loves: The first season of Heroes. I knew after two or three episodes that the show wasn't for me. I'm not saying that I'm cooler than anyone else because of that; just that whatever qualities the show had early on that everyone liked and that it eventually lost: I wasn't able to see them.
  • Something I Love That Everyone Else Hates: Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. I explained why at the time.
  • Something I Don't Get That Everyone Else Seems To: Transformers. The cartoons, the movies, the toys. All of it. I probably understand most why the toys are cool, but I was just older than the target audience when the cartoon came out and was never able to get into it. Michael Bay did nothing to help me out with that.
  • Something I've Never Seen That Everyone Else Has: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I saw the Kristy Swanson movie in the theater and - while I liked it okay - it wasn't anything that I thought I should watch on a weekly basis. By the time everyone was saying how great it was, it was far enough along that I wanted to start from the beginning and have just never gotten around to it. 

Do you have a pop culture secret? Share below!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

LXB | The League's Ultimate Crossovers



Brian's posted the rest of the League of Extraordinary Blogger's responses about their ultimate movie crossovers and there are several that I'd pay big bucks to see on the big screen. The image above was created by Sideshow Cinema for an imaginary crossover that I cannot believe Dark Horse hasn't yet done. Other ones I want to be real are:
  • Memories of Toymorrow's goofy, fun mash-up of famous movie and TV bachelors competing for the affection of the cat from the Pepe LePew cartoons. I just can't decide if it's the ultimate romantic comedy or the ultimate horror film.
  • Branded in the 80s created a sequel to '80s movies that pitted kids against a sinister government: Wargames, Cloak and Dagger, and The Manhattan Project. In his version, the kids are grown and pulled into another plot in which they have to prevent World War III. (In his comments section, a reader talks about his idea for a Dukes of Hazzard/Knight Rider crossover that would also be awesome.)
  • Tupa's Treasures has three cool ideas, but my favorite is combining the casts of the two Raiders of the Lost Ark TV knock offs: Tales of the Gold Monkey and Bring 'Em Back Alive.
  • Speaking of Raiders, AEIOU and Sometimes Why would love to see Indiana Jones meet the Doctor. And so would I.
  • The Man Who Stares at Toys sold me on his idea for Wookiees and Klingons teaming up to fight Xenomorphs.
  • Dave Lowe wins at life by coming up with Indiana Jones' exploring King Kong's Skull Island.
There are a lot of cool ideas out there though, so check out Cool and Collected for the whole list, including Tombstone meets Deadwood, and Batman vs Ace Ventura.

Friday, May 11, 2012

LXB | Leaving Neverland



Gonna go back for a League of Extraordinary Bloggers assignment that I skipped in order to catch up this week: Grab Rufus and head to the phone booth, because this week, we’re going back in time! Dial up the year you turned 12, and revisit the last official year of your “childhood.”

I never thought of 12 as the last year of childhood. I always thought that was 17, which of course is ridiculous because teenage-years and childhood are in no way the same thing. This is a cool exercise, because it lets me go back and re-evaluate that year the way I always should have thought of it.

I have a few strong memories of 12, most of which have to do with starting a new school and making new friends. My best pals were the McLanahan twins, who introduced me to a life-long passion for New Wave music (they hooked me with Talking Heads and Adam Ant) and a shorter-lived infatuation with 18-wheelers. We all had our dream rigs picked out; mine was a black, conventional Kenworth with chrome highlights.

I'd already discovered girls a year or four before, but they were of course still vitally important to 12-year-old me. Not that I totally knew how to talk to them yet, but I started making friends with girls around that time and felt more comfortable around them than I had up to that point. So it was a milestone.

I remember that the Florida State Seminoles football team was undefeated that year (but had forgotten until researching this that they lost to Oklahoma in the Orange Bowl).

Because of all of that, for years after I thought back on 12 as a Perfect Year; the benchmark to measure all other years by. That makes me happy, realizing now that it was my last year of childhood and that I enjoyed the heck out of it. It also makes me happy that I turned 12 in 1979, so my childhood ended at the same time as the '70s. That got me ready for the '80s as a teenager, which was awesome.

I did some research to remind me of other things that happened that year. This is from May 29 (my birthday), 1979 to May 29, 1980; not the calendar year. It's a long list, so I'm putting it behind a break.


Friday, May 04, 2012

LXB | That little droid and I have been through a lot together



I'm steadily catching up to the rest of the League, but thanks to the wise council of our intrepid leader, Brian, starting next week I'm going to skip ahead a bit and go live with the group. I'll still play makeup on the assignments I've missed, but even though it'll hurt my pretend OCD to go out of order, it'll be more fun to get back in the game earlier. To finish up this week though, here's another catch-up assignment.

What is the one item in your collection you would save if your house was being swallowed by a sink hole, carried off in a tornado, and then swept away in a flood?

This took some thinking. Like I said earlier, I don't really collect much anymore. A lot of what I've collected in the past is in storage bins, but I do have a few things on bookshelves in my office. I figure that's a good indication that I value them more than - say - that old Six Million Dollar Man action figure with the threadbare uniform or even the re-issued Millenium Falcon playset I was so happy to finally get as an adult after not having it as a child. In the Falcon's case, not displaying it is more about size than it is the value I place on it, but still...if it was that important to me, I'd likely make room.

One of the reasons that it's not is that it's a re-issue. That means that it came with some cool features that the original Falcon playsets didn't, but it also means that I don't have as much emotional attachment to it. I took it out of the box and flew it around a little while, blowing up the cat with my pretend blasters, but I didn't spend hours making up stories about it the way I did with other toys when I was little. Like my Star Wars figures.

What I'd grab first from my collection is the small handful of original Star Wars figures I still have: R2-D2, Han Solo, and Chewbacca. I may have a lightsaber-less Luke Skywalker somewhere, but he's not on the shelf with those other three. I have no idea what happened to Darth Vader, Obi-Wan, Leia, C-3PO, the Tusken Raider, the stormtrooper, and the Death Star commander. Maybe my brothers have those. It doesn't really matter. It's not about the figures themselves.

Though Han and Chewie were always my favorites (that's why I coveted that Falcon playset so much) and I love the cool, clicking noise R2 makes when you turn his head, those toys are special because they represent a huge part of my childhood: both emotionally and in terms of time spent playing with them with my brothers. Nothing else on any of those shelves comes close.

The rest of the League also has stuff they wouldn't want to lose and, like me, a couple of them are particular childhood toys. Life With Fandom is attached to one from another series, while Branded in the '80s has a different Star Wars toy that he can't give up. There are also some awesome items in other people's collection. I especially love Brian's King Kong model and Lair of the Dork Horde's Mego Conan. But my favorite post of all is the one by Flashlights Are Something to Eat that not only explains his blog title and URL, but includes clips from the cassette tapes he and his brother made as kids. Such awesome memories. That's what collecting is really about for me.

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

LXB | He tasks me, and I shall have him!



I'm not as much of a collector as I used to be, but I was still able to come up with an answer to this assignment from the League of Extraordinary Bloggers.

We all collect something. What is a holy grail item you hope to find at a flea market, toy show, or comic convention? What else do you collect? 

I used to collect comics, but now I mostly just accumulate them. I don't have particular characters or creators that I follow religiously anymore. In fact, I've lost the collector bug for most everything. I still buy a lot of books, comics, movies, and music, but the difference is that I don't do it anymore with the specific idea that I'm building a collection other than just Stuff I Like. Collecting is fun, but the completist mindset was keeping me from trying new things by forcing me to focus exclusively on things I already liked. Others will have different experiences from mine and that's awesome. I just decided it wasn't for me and the Star Trek and Star Wars novels are a perfect example of why.

I was a huge Star Trek fan during the Next Generation days and I was still very much a collector. I wanted all the episodes, all the movies, all the books, and all the comics. The problem was that the publishers of the Star Trek Expanded Universe novels knew this about me. I started to realize that in order to keep up with the Star Trek novels (and the same was true for Star Wars), I literally could read nothing but Star Trek and Star Wars novels. I treaded water that way for a while - hoping that the publisher would selflessly ease up on me one day - until I finally read an interview with one of the Star Trek editors who explained that keeping me focused purely on her novels was exactly the plan. They were never going to let up; so I quit cold turkey. Same goes with anything else that threatens to eat up all my resources and leave me no time to explore new things.

Having said that, there is one collection that I started years ago that I'd love to complete. During the last days of Star Trek: The Next Generation's influence on pop culture, I went to a Star Trek convention and bought the poster at the top of this post. And since Michael Dorn was at the show (Worf was always my favorite), I had him sign it. And I thought, "Wouldn't it be cool if I could get everyone in that picture to sign it too?" It never happened, so that poster is still rolled up in a tube in my office somewhere with Michael Dorn's lonely signature on it. Even though the days in which I'd hang up a Star Trek poster in my office are long gone, I'd totally put it on the wall if it had all those autographs on it. Too bad I wasn't in Calgary last weekend. If I'd known about it, I seriously would have tried to make that happen. I forget how much I loved that show until stuff like this reminds me.

The rest of the League mentioned some cool stuff that they collect, but a few of them especially crossed over with my interests. Pendragon's Post wants a cool Wonder Woman villain toy from the Linda Carter show. Lefty Limbo wants an awesome Space: 1999 ship. Toyriffic wants a giant-sized Rodan toy. LXB host Brian from Cool and Collected wants a wind-up gorilla (and who wouldn't?). The Lair of the Dork Horde wants a Weebles Haunted House (My brothers and I totally had that as kids and I have fond, but frustrating memories of trying to integrate it with our extensive collection of Fisher Price Little People playsets). And finally, Flashlights Are Something to Eat reminds me yet again of how wonderful a show Mister Rogers' Neighborhood was.

Do you collect anything? Are there holes in your collection that you're eager to fill?

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

LXB | Baseball Season



First of all, I'm sorry I've been a bad blogger the last two days. There's no drama and I'm still employed, but I'm looking for a new day job and that's taking up quite a bit of time. I love my current gig, but it's not going to turn into what I hoped it would, so with the complete blessing and support of my awesome boss, I need to find something else. I'm going to try to double up on posts today and tomorrow to make up for Monday and Tuesday.

I'm still catching up to the League of Extraordinary Bloggers and my next late assignment is an open-ended one about baseball:

Take me out to the ball game! America’s past time has been prominently featured in pop culture for over a century, so this week, we’re talking baseball!

I've probably mentioned this before, but I'm not a big sports fan. I grew up in Tallahassee, so I have very fond memories of going to Florida State football games with my friends, but I haven't stayed motivated to keep up with the Seminoles in a serious way since I moved from there. Now that I live in Minnesota, I've been to a handful of Twins and Saints games, several Wild games, and a Timberwolves game, but that's about the atmosphere and hanging out with people I like. I understand the rules and cheer loudly for the home team, but I can't get into the players and the stats. In other words, I'm a casual sports watcher.

That said, I do love me a sports movie and that includes baseball. Favorites include Major League, A League of Their Own, and Bull Durham. But really, when I think about baseball and pop culture, I always go first to good ol' Charlie Brown. The Peanuts defined Americana for me as a kid and their neighborhood games romanticized baseball more than any film ever could.

 
 

The next thing I think of in reference to baseball is always the last 1:10 of Chuck Jones and Co.'s "Duck! Rabbit, Duck!"

 

Some of the other League members came up with some baseball references I can relate to. Team Hellions talked about a baseball-themed West Coast Avengers comic and reminded me of all those fun baseball games the X-Men used to play between epic story arcs. I used to love those issues where the team would try (and fail) to play without using their powers. Cavalcade of Awesome and Red-Headed Mule both put together dream teams of movie baseball players; an awesome idea. And Lair of the Dork Horde reminded me of the batting helmet ice cream bowls we used to get and collect in the '80s (and those awesome-at-the-time handheld baseball video games).

How about you? What - if anything - does baseball mean to you?

Friday, April 20, 2012

LXB | What can Michael Bay make better?



This League of Extraordinary Bloggers assignment is from a couple of weeks ago (I'm catching up!).

Brian from Cool and Collected said: We can all agree that Michael Bay makes everything better. After he’s done with the Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles movie, what should Michael Bay blow up next?

I love Brian, but I reject that premise so hard. With the exception of The Rock, which I loved, there's not a Michael Bay movie that I care to rewatch and I can't imagine a situation in which I'd ever go see a movie with his name on it again. His films are boring and they don't make any sense.

I was never a huge fan of the Transformers cartoon, so I don't have any complaints about his messing up my childhood or anything. I just know that I got distracted by my own thoughts during the climactic battle in the first one and if you can bore me while giant robots are punching each other...there's something wrong with you.

There's only one movie that I can think of that Michael Bay would improve and that's Battlefield Earth. Because there's no possible way to make it worse.

The rest of the League tends to like Bay more than I do, but I admit that curiosity would get me into the theater to see a Bay remake of Plan 9 from Outer Space or a Bay adaptation of A Button for Corduroy. Those are awesome ideas. My favorite suggestion though is from Freak Studios, who shares my opinion of Bay and thinks that his perfect genre is war porn.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

LXB | Zombie Apocalypse Buddies



Still trying to catch up to the rest of the League of Extraordinary Bloggers.

Which TV or movie hero do you want beside you when the zombie apocalypse arrives?

I hate zombies. I don't want to hide from them. I don't want to kill them. I don't want anything to do with them. So this might be cheating, but my perfect companion for the zombie apocalypse is someone with a spaceship to get me the heck off Earth. And I can't think of any spaceship I'd rather travel in than the Millenium Falcon or any crew I'd rather hang out with than Han and Chewie.

Besides, I bet blasters and bowcasters make great zombie killing weapons while we escape.



The rest of the League is way tougher than I am and chose to stay and fight it out with a wide range of capable pals from Charlton Heston in The Omega Man (Geek Chunks) to Wonder Woman (Siftin'). A couple of them got creative and picked people who know a lot about zombies (Team Hellions) or were just slower than they are (Freak Studios). "I don't have to outrun the zombie; I just have to outrun you." I have questions about the long-run sustainability of that strategy, but it's funny.

My favorite of the League's picks is Life With Fandom's selection of the Doctor. I still prefer Han and Chewie who would be all for selfishly running away, because of course the Doctor would want to stay and fix things as long as possible. But I can get behind the Doctor as long as he lets me hide out in the TARDIS and if things get really bad, a time machine makes an excellent escape route.

What about you? Fighter or runner? Who would you pick to help you survive?

Monday, April 09, 2012

LXB | My Hollywood blockbuster



I'm still catching up to the rest of the League of Extraordinary Bloggers, so here's what I would do with the following assignment:

You are a big shot Hollywood movie producer with an unlimited budget. You need to assemble the ultimate ensemble cast for a movie that is sure to fill every movie theater seat around the world. Who do you hire and what kind of film are you going to make?

First, I'd buy my way into the head seat at the Pirates of the Caribbean table and hire Brad Bird to write and direct the next sequel with the following input from me. It would be called Pirates of the Caribbean: The Lost Colony and would have Jack Sparrow team up with my 17th century version of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen to find out what happened to the lost colony on Roanoke. (I know that Alan Moore already created a 17th century LXG, but mine's designed to be more commercial than Captain Owe-much and Amber St Clair. I totally stole my villains from his version though. And mine wouldn't actually be called the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen; it's just a collection of famous fictional characters from a particular period in history.)



Joining Captain Jack Sparrow would be the Three Musketeers, played by their 1993 versions: Oliver Platt, Charlie Sheen, and Kiefer Sutherland. Platt's always awesome, but Sheen and Sutherland are especially interesting to audiences right now (though for very different reasons).



Then we'd have Viggo Mortensen reprising his role as Captain Alatriste (which I still can't find in the US, dadgummit).



And Emma Stone as a sarcastic version of Hector Prynne from The Scarlet Letter.



Joining her would be a trio of Salem witches played by Lily Collins (Mirror Mirror), Molly Quinn (Castle), and Gabriella Wilde (last year's Three Musketeers).



So those are our good guys. What they learn is that the Roanoke colony disappeared as part of a scheme by Shakespeare's Prospero from The Tempest, played by Ian McKellen.



And of course Prospero is in partnership with supernatural forces led by the air spirit, Ariel (Devon Aoki).



Now...wouldn't you want to see that?

The rest of the LXB came up with some awesome movies that I'd want to see too.

  • Life With Fandom developed the ultimate space opera starring (amongst others) Elijah Wood, Hugh Jackman, Will Smith, and The Rock against Ian McKellen and Karen Gillen. 
  • Team Hellions created an all-female Expendables starring fifteen different butt-kicking women including some of my favorites like Angelina Jolie, Lucy Lawless, Chloe Moretz, Milla Jovovich, Kate Beckinsale, and Gina Carano.
  • LXB-host Brian put together the ultimate Western starring Kurt Russell, Kevin Costner, Harrison Ford (I agree that he needs a do-over), Leonardo DiCaprio, Diane Lane, and Kate Beckinsale.
Check out Cool and Collected to see the rest of the dream blockbusters including a hackers flick, a live-action adaptation of the '80s Dungeons and Dragons cartoon, a Community movie that replaces the TV actors with movie stars, a Booster Gold/Blue Beetle buddy movie, and an all-new Cannonball Run.

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

LXB | Things that make you go, "Whoah."



Having spent three weeks on one LXB assignment, I'm really behind the rest of the League. Gonna get caught up by doing two League posts a week, starting with this one:

What media announcement had you throwing fist pumps and doing roundhouse kicks in the air? Did the final result live up to your dreams?

Every generation has a legend…
Every journey has a first step…
Every saga has a beginning…

In retrospect, there's no way Phantom Menace could have lived up to my expectations of it. To be fair though, in retrospect, I'd already outgrown the series by Return of the Jedi and just didn't know it yet. But not knowing it, when the first trailers for Phantom Menace came out, I couldn't sit still for them. I was so excited about new Star Wars movies that I wiggled in my chair like a three-year-old on Christmas morning.

I camped out for tickets, which turned out to be unnecessary. Since Star Wars had always been a family event for us and not all of my family could handle being out until 2:00 in the morning for a midnight show, we decided to take Opening Day off work and go to the earliest matinee we could. For Empire and Jedi, Opening Day meant long lines and sold-out shows, so I thought I'd still need to camp out for tickets, not realizing that everyone else was grabbing midnight passes. Our Opening Day matinee was mostly empty except for me and my family.

I don't remember being disappointed by the small crowd, but I wonder how much that affected the experience. I know I didn't hate the movie. I probably saw it five or six times in the theater, taking Menace virgins with me each time to re-experience it through their eyes.

I remember deciding that it felt like a Star Wars movie thanks to the John Williams score, the title crawl, and the inclusion of "I have a bad feeling about this." I remember thinking that Jar Jar Binks was silly, but he didn't ruin the movie for me and actually made me laugh a couple of times. I remember being underwhelmed by Jake Lloyd's performance, but convincing myself that it was balanced out by Liam Neeson's. I remember being confused about the Trade Federation's scheme, but deciding that I'd figured out enough of what was going on that I could let that go. I also remember being confused about just what Obi Wan Kenobi felt about Anakin Skywalker and whether that confusion was a problem with the script, Ewan McGregor, or both. In short, I remember being critical of a lot of things, but trying to make myself believe that compared to the pod race, Darth Maul, and just seeing R2 and Tatooine again, my criticisms weren't that important. So no, it didn't live up to my expectations, but I didn't dislike it either.

I should end this post right there having answered the question, but I feel like adding that my opinion of the film hasn't really altered in the last thirteen years. I still really like the parts I liked before and still have the same criticisms of what I didn't. I relate to the fans who were disappointed by it, but totally don't get the attitude that it's unwatchable.

The other League members have long since chimed in on the "Whoah" topic and a couple of others talked about Star Wars, but not the prequels. Chris Tupa talked about being excited for the theatrical release of the Special Editions and AEIOU and Sometimes Why mentioned some deleted scenes he got to see at Star Wars Celebration V. Chris' post reminds me how excited I was for those Special Editions and how I had to camp out for those tickets too because they were selling out Opening Day. Back in those days, we were so excited to see those movies on the big screen again that we didn't care about stuff like Han Shot First. It wasn't until later that we got upset, because we realized that a) Lucas intended these versions to replace and not supplement the originals, and b) that he wasn't nearly done tinkering.

Other League members who looked forward to the same stuff I did were Lair of the Dork Horde (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull), Double Dumbass on You (Iron Man, or - specifically for me - the Return of Robert Downey Jr), and Sideshow Cinema (Alien vs Predator).

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