Friday, April 20, 2012

LXB | What can Michael Bay make better?

This League of Extraordinary Bloggers assignment is from a couple of weeks ago (I'm catching up!).

Brian from Cool and Collected said: We can all agree that Michael Bay makes everything better. After he’s done with the Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles movie, what should Michael Bay blow up next?

I love Brian, but I reject that premise so hard. With the exception of The Rock, which I loved, there's not a Michael Bay movie that I care to rewatch and I can't imagine a situation in which I'd ever go see a movie with his name on it again. His films are boring and they don't make any sense.

I was never a huge fan of the Transformers cartoon, so I don't have any complaints about his messing up my childhood or anything. I just know that I got distracted by my own thoughts during the climactic battle in the first one and if you can bore me while giant robots are punching each other...there's something wrong with you.

There's only one movie that I can think of that Michael Bay would improve and that's Battlefield Earth. Because there's no possible way to make it worse.

The rest of the League tends to like Bay more than I do, but I admit that curiosity would get me into the theater to see a Bay remake of Plan 9 from Outer Space or a Bay adaptation of A Button for Corduroy. Those are awesome ideas. My favorite suggestion though is from Freak Studios, who shares my opinion of Bay and thinks that his perfect genre is war porn.


Siskoid said...

Michael Bay should someone pick projects I already dislike, concentrating my movie rage to specific spots. That would work for me ;)

Example: A Deathstroke movie.

Black Vulmea said...

Michael Bay is an acquired taste, if you can in fact acquire a taste for used axle grease.

He puts the Bay in banal.

Michael May said...

Siskoid, that opens a whole new arena of movies that I wouldn't mind seeing him do. Michael Bay's Twilight for example.

Siskoid said...

The Twilight series has directors?

Michael May said...

Only compared to Michael Bay. :)

Actually, didn't David Slade direct one of them? I didn't see it, but I generally like his stuff.

Mitchell Craig said...

I would like to see a Michael Bay/Wes Craven collaboration. It would involve both of them chained together and tossed down an abandoned well, followed by the master prints of every movie they have ever made. The well should then be filled with quicklime and concrete, then sealed and welded shut. The immediate area around the well (100-yard radius will do) should be burned and the ground seeded with salt.


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