Wonder Woman vs. Doctor Poison: Sensation Comics #2

Last time, I promised that we'd meet Wonder Woman's first costumed villain in this issue. What I didn't tell you is that we also get to meet Etta Candy for the first time and get our fist glimpse at William Moulton Marston's bondage fetish.

The story opens with Steve Trevor's being kind of a baby about being laid up. He has valuable information concerning the identities of foreign spies and wants to get back to Intelligence HQ to share it. Apparently, they can't debrief him in the hospital or something. Wonder Woman, posing as Steve's nurse Diana Prince, feels duty-bound to keep him settled, but her plans go awry when the foreign spies kidnap Steve and her with him. She decides to play along to find out where their hideout is.

At the hideout, they meet the ringleader behind the kidnapping and Steve immediately identifies the ghoul-faced physician as Dr. Poison.



When Poison threatens Steve, "Diana" nearly blows her cover by snapping the ropes she's tied up with, but her captors - while impressed - don't make the connection that she's super-human. Stupid captors.

Unfortunately, Poison holds a scalpel to Steve's throat until Diana allows herself to be recaptured. I'm still giving Steve the benefit of the doubt in this issue. He seems pretty helpless, but he's also still seriously injured, not only from crashing on Paradise Island, but from over-exerting himself last issue and being buried beneath an exploded building for a bit.

Anyway, Diana's taken to another room and hogtied.



Oh, Marston. This isn't quite as kinky as the book would later become, but if you know the direction it eventually took you can see the roots of it here. At first read though, the scene makes enough sense to the story that it feels pretty harmless.

Once the guards leave, Diane wastes no time in breaking free and changing into her costume.



Oh, Marston. Lucky they didn't check your bag too, WW.

Worried that Dr. Poison will kill Steve if she attacks directly, Wonder Woman decides to escape and come up with another plan. Oddly enough, when the outside guards see her, their first connection is to her role as a stage performer, not a super-hero. That doesn't keep them from shooting at her though.



So, what's Wonder Woman's plan? It's revealed slowly, but we learn first that it involves a woman named Etta Candy who attends the Holliday College for Women.



Oh, Marston.

Now, if you're like me, you're wondering, "Who is this Etta Candy person and if she's Wonder Woman's friend, why is this the first time we're hearing about her?"

All becomes clear when Wonder Woman finally tracks Etta down.



Apparently, Wonder Woman's been going through the real Diana Prince's things and found a reference to Diana's friend Etta from the hospital. Maybe an old, pre-appendectomy photo, because Etta explains that she started pigging out after she had her appendix removed and could eat whatever she wanted. There's something not quite right about that story, but we'll let it slide. I don't know enough about appendectomies to call BS on it.

Wonder Woman has Etta round up all the hot, athletic girls at Holliday and recruits them into an army to rescue Steve. The girls march up to the bad guys' hideout and offer to put on a dance for the spies. "We're just girls and we want men!" Wonder Woman explains.

Too bad for the spies, the dance quickly becomes violent.



This is also the first direct example of Wonder Woman's inspiring other women. Yes, she's inspiring them to distract a bunch of thugs with an impromptu social gathering, but it's a start.

With the goons subdued, Wonder Woman rushes off to rescue Steve and the two of them confront Dr. Poison. Then, in a sudden plot twist...!



What the-? I totally didn't see that coming. Not enough of an expert on delicate hands, I suppose. (Although I did go back and check some of the panels where Poison wasn't wearing gloves and damned if those hands aren't delicate!)



Creepy!

Who the heck is Princess Maru? Not important, apparently. It's enough for us to know that she's eeeevil. But while Wonder Woman takes Steve back to the hospital, Etta has Maru totally under control.

And proceeds to spank her.



Oh, Marston...

The Old Red, White, and Blue

Wonder Woman statue



Holy Hannah, that's cool. I'm not usually the kind of guy to spend $100 on a statue, but I'm actually very tempted to start saving my pennies for this one.

"Fixing" Wonder Woman

In a well-written, - but misguided I think - article, Esther Inglis-Arkell explains what she'd do to fix Wonder Woman. What she says is broken about Wonder Woman is that the character is all about "compromise, compassion, diplomacy, and strict fairness. This is admirable, of course, but it doesn’t get the blood pumping."

I'm guessing that Inglis-Arkell hasn't been reading Gail Simone's current work on the comic. The "love and peace" angle may have been the way past writers played Wonder Woman, but it's not how Simone is doing it. If this is Inglis-Arkell's primary objection to Wonder Woman, it's no longer valid.

But even acknowledging that this was a problem in the past, I disagree with all three of Inglis-Arkell's suggestions on how to fix it. Two of them ("The Weirdo" and "The Explorer of the Brave New World") are variations of the old, fish-out-of-water concept that turns Wonder Woman into a wide-eyed alien through whom we learn something about our own culture. That was played out in George Perez's stories and it doesn't make any sense for the seasoned hero who Wonder Woman is today. The third suggestion ("The Avenger") essentially makes Wonder Woman into a villain.

The way to improve Wonder Woman is to do what Simone has done: find the core of Diana's character (I still argue that it's her confidence) and then just tell some kick-ass, imaginative adventure-stories that don't compromise that core. Thematically, you could do a lot worse than The Fractal Hall Journal's suggestions of focusing on Truth and the concept of Hunting.

A second Wonder Woman series?

Some evidence that Wonder Woman's actually doing just fine these days is in this interview with Dan Didio. According to Didio:

My feeling, in that she is one of our longest-running characters and most enduring characters, is that she should have more than one series going on. She should not just be relegated to one book. She has a level of prominence that we feel we should embrace, and more importantly, grow from. We look at things like Superman, Batman and Green Lantern – all of these characters have been able to support more than one series. There’s no reason why Wonder Woman shouldn’t do the same.

When the interviewer asked about whether or not there was an announcement hidden in that statement somewhere, Didio replied, "I can’t answer that! If I did, what would we talk about in two weeks?"

I'll be looking forward to that!

"She can tie me up anytime. RRRarrarrarrarrarr!"



Chocolate Wonder Woman costume



I'll just let designer Jack Mackenroth explain it.

In which Michael's not nearly so progressive as he likes to think he is



Comics N Things found some cool Wonder Woman checks and other accouterments.

But as cool as they are, they also make me question just how secure I really am in my fondness for Wonder Woman. Though I like him a lot less than her, I'd have absolutely no problem buying a box of Batman checks. Ones with just Wonder Woman on them? Even though she's one of my favorite superheroes, I'd feel a little weird.

I think that's because she's the iconic Women's Hero. I'd buy a set of Black Canary or She-Hulk checks in a freakin heartbeat, but Wonder Woman intimidates me. Being a Wonder Woman fan feels a little like crashing somebody's slumber party, if that makes sense. I don't know what that says about me, so I'm just throwing it out there.

Song of the Week: John Denver - "Back Home Again"

I used to do this feature here called New Wave of the Week, but it was sometimes hard to justify my picks as New Wave. I figure it's best just to abandon that concept and call it Song I Really Like of the Week. "Song of the Week," for short.

My mom was a huge John Denver fan when I was growing up, so I heard a lot of him and developed a fondness for his stuff myself.

More off-topicness: My wife on the radio

This is from back in July, but I think it's pretty snazzy. We live right across the Interstate from downtown Saint Paul, so when NPR ran a story on urban demographics and the "end of White Flight" in US cities, my wife Diane called in to share her observations. She's the very last caller, right after the 29:00 mark.

Music Meme: 1967

I think I want to start sneaking more off-topic stuff back into the blog. I'm going to keep it confined to Sundays so it doesn't get out of control, but sometimes a guy just needs to talk about Grey's Anatomy.

Today is not one of those times though. Getting my inspiration from Will Pfeiffer, I thought it would be fun to start listing my favorite albums from every year I've been alive. I'll try to do a new one every couple of weeks.

1967

The Doors: The Doors



I was tempted to list a Beach Boys album because I really, really liked the Beach Boys as a kid, but let's face it, whatever I chose was going to reflect a retroactive taste anyway. Any music I was listening to at less than a year old I don't remember. And though I didn't discover the Doors until the '90s (thanks, Val Kilmer!), they're the band - and especially this album - that I still like the best.

Runners up:

The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and Magical Mystery Tour
Bob Dylan: Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits
The Beach Boys: The Best of the Beach Boys, Vol. 2

Kill All Robots! (No wait. That's not right.)

Giant Monster



By Marco Bucci.

Mortis Rex

Robert Hood has the skinny on a Giant Robot in Ancient Rome movie.

In 123 AD, a disgraced Roman war hero is sent to defend a Roman garrison stationed in remote Scotland from a spate of mysterious killings. The hero reclaims his rightful warrior status by uniting with the local Druids and vanquishing a terrifying supernatural beast.

Mmm... lunch!



By Scott Hallett.

"Must drink more milk!"



Godzilla board game

There's a Godzilla board game coming and it sounds smashing.

Cleo fights monsters the old-fashioned way



By Mike Maihack (who is now a regular stop on my blog-reading).

Johnny Monster



Coming from Image Comics in February.

JOHNNY MONSTER #1 (of 3)
story JOSHUA WILLIAMSON
art & cover J.C. GRANDE

Johnny Monster is the world's foremost super-star monster hunter, but what the world doesn't know is that he was raised by the same monsters he's "hunting"! Now, in order to save his adoptive family...he must fight them! From the acclaimed writer of DEAR DRACULA and Necessary Evil, Johnny Monster mixes Tom Strong with Godzilla movies by way of Tarzan and the Phantom to create a compelling and different monster mash!

FEBUARY 18 - 32 PAGES - FC - $3.50

(There's actually a lot of cool stuff coming from Image in February, but I'll save the other interesting ones to talk about next week.)

The Day the Earth Stopped

The Asylum is at it again, this time ripping off The Day the Earth Stood Still, but the alien invaders are a bunch of giant robots. You can't say that The Asylum has bad ideas; it's just the cheap execution of them that sucks.

Spicy Nacho Doritos vs. Giant Robot



By Allan Dye.

Robot Battle Suits coming to Japan

Of course they are. Oh, Japan... (Thanks to Topless Robot for the link.)

The Tallest Robot



Because you - like me - have always wanted to know.

Kill All Monsters!

I don't know what I'm doing putting this way down here when clearly it needs a post all its own, but I thought maybe you'd like to see some art from Kill All Monsters! by me and Jason Copland.





Monsters vs. Aliens

What's the world coming to when you have to send out giant monsters to fight giant robots?

Jungle Girls and Giant Monsters

Who Knew Tarzan Lived in California?



I got an email from Danielle, who runs the way cool Who Knew Tarzan Lived in California blog. There are a lot more Tarzan-California connections than you'd think and Danielle's exploring them all.

Jungle Fables



The Comic Book Catacombs has a short, Golden Age jungle girl story up. Fair warning: it's from 1948 and racial depictions are typical of that era.

Femme Noir meets Okona the Jungle Girl

Writer Christopher Mills reveals that Femme Noir #4 will feature a jungle girl character and an island full of giant monsters. Everyone else can stop making comics now. Chris wins.

The Phantom: The Ghost Who Walks



Okay, obviously I was just kidding with that "no more comics" crack. There's always room for more awesome. Like Moonstone's Phantom comics, which are soon rebooting. According to the press release I got, they're leaning towards "edgier stories" that are "torn from today’s headlines of modern day Africa." I'm not sure that's the direction I'm most interested in, but I loves me some Phantom, so I'll give it a shot.

They also promise "new issues more often," which will also be nice.

The Phantom: The Ghost Who Walks #1 will be written by David Michelinie and Mike Bullock, illustrated by Silvestre Szilagyi, and will have a variant cover by legendary Phantom artist Sy Barry.

"Blitzkrieg in the Past"



By J. Allen St. John.

Xenozoic Tales print by Mark Schultz

Flesk Publications has an awesome print of Jack and Hannah in their car fighting a horde of dinosaurs. 18" x 24" for $19.95.

One step closer to Jurassic Park

Making live clones from dead animals is now possible.

Tiki Batman and Other Tales

Robinson Crusoe



By Frank Godwin. Which reminds me that I need to catch up on the new Crusoe show on TiVo and report on it. I really enjoyed the awesome, pirates- and treehouse-filled island-adventure in the pilot.

Cameron Crowe's Tropical Romantic Comedy

Cameron Crowe will start production next year on a romantic adventure-comedy starring Ben Stiller and Reese Witherspoon and set in Hawaii. According to /Film, the plot features a native Hawaiian council, Hawaiian gods, and a volcano-sacrifice.

I'm gonna have to see a trailer on that one. The awesome-sounding elements are pretty much neck-and-neck with the questionable ones.

Waimea



Writer Kevin Church is teasing a new comic that looks very island-adventurey. Looking forward to learning more about that one.

As promised: Tiki Batman



By Anthony Carpenter.

Quantum of Solace (2008)

I agree with about 90% of what comes off of Roger Ebert's keyboard, but not this time. The man doesn't get Bond. At least, not the literary one. Or, if he does, he doesn't think the movie version should be anything like him.

Obviously, I disagree. Timothy Dalton's Bond is one of my favorites and I'm a much bigger fan of Dr. No and From Russia With Love than You Only Live Twice and Diamonds Are Forever. For Your Eyes Only is the only Roger Moore film worth seriously considering. There are two kinds of Bond fans: those who like the silly quips and gadgets and world-conquering villains, and those who prefer the deadly, driven, but weary agent who relentlessly pursues his targets for no other reason than that M has told him they need pursuing. I'm the latter kind of fan; Ebert is the former (he quotes elements from You Only Live Twice, The Spy Who Loved Me, and Moonraker as making up his idea of the quintessential Bond). We'll probably never agree on what makes a good Bond film.

I've read some reviews talking about how Quantum of Solace is so different from Casino Royale, and then sort of apologetically acknowledging that Quantum of Solace is still very good. I get why the writers are doing that. Casino Royale was so well-done; so well-received that no one wants potential movie-goers to be disappointed that Quantum of Solace doesn't repeat it exactly. But really? Screw that. This movie shouldn't be a repeat of the last one. Who wants that?

Quantum of Solace is amazing. Taking nothing away from Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace is five times more brutal and unrelenting in its action, it's more artistically directed (easy to see that it was made by the man who brought us Finding Neverland), and its emotional impact (though owing everything to the set up from Casino Royale) is greater. Some specific things I liked need to go beneath a SPOILER WARNING. If you haven't seen the movie and don't want to know stuff, skip everything after the picture of Bond and Agent Fields. Once you see Bond with Camille, you can start reading again.



Bond doesn't sleep with The Girl. There's an emotional connection between him and Camille, much like the connection he made with Vesper in Casino Royale, but that's precisely why he doesn't have sex with her. He's still in too much pain.

That doesn't keep him out of bed with Agent Fields though. They both know that's just sex and besides, he's using her to get something he needs.

Though she refuses to reveal it in the movie, the credits let us know that Agent Fields' first name is Strawberry. Awesome. That's almost as good as Bond's joke in Casino Royale that Vesper's cover name was going to be Stephanie Broadchest.

Fields is played by Gemma Arterton, who also played Ludacris and Jeremy Piven's assistant in RockNRolla (which was really frickin good, by the way). She's gorgeous in both movies, but you'd never know that the same actress played both roles, she's that cool.

Camille is played by Olga Kurylenko whom I kind of fell in love with in Hitman. She was also in Max Payne, but I'm trying to forget that I saw that one.

My one, nagging complaint about Casino Royale was that it left Mathis' true loyalties unresolved. He was one of my favorite characters in the novel, so I hated the suggestion that he'd been turned into a bad guy for the movie. Casino Royale left it open to interpretation, so I chose to believe that Le Chiffre was lying when he referred to "my friend Mathis," but I could never convince non-Fleming readers that my interpretation was correct. Quantum of Solace clears that all up, for which I am deeply grateful. (It also includes a snippet of dialogue from one of my favorite parts of the Casino Royale novel. I wish they'd followed that discussion further like Fleming did, but oh well.)

Even though this is the spoiler section, I'll be vague about the identity of a dead woman who turns up in Bond's hotel room. But I want to mention her because - blasphemous as this may sound - the scene succeeds at hitting the emotional impact of an iconic scene from the novel Goldfinger more than the movie Goldfinger was able to do.



END SPOILERS

I should also mention in a non-spoilery way that Quantum of Solace picks up about fifteen minutes after Casino Royale leaves off. You don't need to have seen Casino Royale to enjoy it on some level, but doing so will dramatically enhance your experience. Also, if you haven't seen Casino Royale in the last year, it would be good to watch it again before you go. There's some stuff you'll miss if you haven't done that. Not vital stuff, but stuff nonetheless.

I may have more to say about the movie after I've seen it again and read some other reviews. I know there were some points in the exposition and Bond's investigation that I didn't thoroughly follow, so I want to go back and pick up on those.

What I do get though, is that Ebert is wrong. I'm not going to quibble over whether on not Bond is an "action hero," because I'm not sure how Ebert's defining the word. But I'll argue until I'm dead that Bond is a tough guy and a deadly force. He's the cold-hearted bullet in M's gun, not - as Ebert put it - someone for whom "violence ... is an annoyance. He exists for the foreplay and the cigarette. He rarely encounters a truly evil villain. More often a comic opera buffoon with hired goons in matching jump suits." I don't care if I never see another movie featuring Ebert's ideal Bond again.

Happy Treasure Island Day

Robert Louis Stevenson

November 13, 1850-December 3, 1894

Sub-Mariner: The Depths #2-3

Tons of SPOILERS BELOW. That's all I do this whole post: Spoilery McSpoiler.



I said after the first issue that I didn't miss the Sub-Mariner. I do now. After all, I also said that I didn't want to read four more issues without the title character's appearing. And so far, that's exactly what's going on.

Milligan's teasing the heck out of this thing. Most of the story focuses on Stein's continued disbelief in Namor, even as he has to question his own senses to maintain that position. As his submarine goes deeper and deeper into the Marianas Trench, tensions rise higher and higher between Stein and his Namor-believing crew. It's a tense, psychological drama, but I'm ready for the tension to ease already. Assuming a satisfying ending, this'll read much better as a collected book. Right now, it feels like there's a lot of repetition and endless waiting for Namor to appear.

Issue #2 is especially cruel. There are a couple of scenes that look like Namor's about to make an appearance.



Are those claws at the end of those fingers? Is that Namor outside the window or something else?

It gets even more confusing once the sub gets close to the Marianas Trench Outpost (an awesome concept that gets more focus in the third issue). Witness these two pages:




We only see his silhouette, but that looks like more claws and something clinging to the intruder's body (seaweed? some kind of slime?). His face looks rather amphibious too as he's coming through the pipe. Is this the Sub-Mariner or something else? What's that stuff stuck to Stein's shoe?

A little later, Stein comes face-to-face with whatever it is. Or does he? Is it all a figment of his imagination?

Whatever it is, it ain't Namor.



Right after seeing that, Stein wakes up in the infirmary, surrounded by crewmen. He's assured that he's just had a dream. But if it's a dream...



So it was salt water oozing off Stein's shoe? That's some pretty sticky salt water. What's going on here?

Unfortunately, issue #3 doesn't have any answers for us.



In this issue, there's lots more of Stein questioning his sanity until the sub finally reaches the Outpost and things start to happen. No mysteries are revealed, but Stein and his crew discover the entire outpost team dead, torn apart by something horrible. They also find more puddles of sea water and a video log.



And that's the one shot of Namor this issue.

If I'd known it was going to go like this, I'd have waited for the book collection, but I'm more than halfway through now, so I feel committed. I still trust Milligan to satisfy at the end; I just wish I didn't have to wait so long to get there.