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Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Sword and Sorcery Cliche No. 1: The Ming the Merciless Haircut [Guest Post]

By GW Thomas

I am currently re-reading John Jakes's entire Brak the Barbarian saga, and I was struck by an odd thought. Why do wizards in sword-and-sorcery always dress like Ming the Merciless? In "The Unspeakable Shrine," Brak meets his nemesis, Septegundus, the Amyr of Evil and high priest of Yob-Haggoth:
And from the black portal silently glided the Amyr of Evil upon Earth...The man was not of overwhelming stature. He was clad in a plain black robe with voluminous sleeves into which his hands were folded. His pate was closely shaven, his nose aquiline, his lips thin. His chin formed a sharp point, and the upper parts of his ears were pointed, too. His eyes were large, dark, staring, nearly all pupil. Very little white showed. He had no eyelids. Evidently they had been removed by a crude surgical procedure. Light pads of scar tissue had encrusted above the sockets which held eyes that never closed.
Septegundus is far from an anomaly. He is the stereotypical sword-and-sorcery wizard. Bald, weird-looking, powerful, with evil eyes. Compare him to Gandalf from The Lord of the Rings:
An old man was driving it all alone. He wore a tall pointed blue hat, a long grey cloak, and a silver scarf. He had a long white beard and bushy eyebrows that stuck out beyond the brim of his hat.
Tolkien derived Gandalf's look from the Scandinavian tales of Odin who traveled in the guise of "The Grey God," a man in a wide-brimmed hat dressed in grey. The Ming stereotype is coming from a different lineage, the gothics.

The horror tradition in fiction begins in England with The Castle of Otranto (1765) by Horace Walpole. These novels, especially those of Ann Radcliffe, feature creepy houses, lost heirs, fake monsters, and a lot of shocks for shock sake. This tradition would eventually dissolve into other forms of storytelling, including detective and mystery fiction and the psychological horror tales of Edgar Allan Poe. Do they feature bald-headed wizards? Not really. Though Ambrosio from MG Lewis's The Monk (1796) is certainly the most influential of all gothic characters:
He was a Man of noble port and commanding presence. His stature was lofty, and his features uncommonly handsome. His Nose was aquiline, his eyes large black and sparkling, and his dark brows almost joined together. His complexion was of a deep but clear Brown; Study and watching had entirely deprived his cheek of colour. Tranquillity reigned upon his smooth unwrinkled forehead; and Content, expressed upon every feature, seemed to announce the Man equally unacquainted with cares and crimes. He bowed himself with humility to the audience: Still there was a certain severity in his look and manner that inspired universal awe, and few could sustain the glance of his eye at once fiery and penetrating. Such was Ambrosio, Abbot of the Capuchins, and surnamed, 'The Man of Holiness'.
So how did the bald look find its way into sword-and-sorcery? You can thank Weird Tales. You have to remember that sword-and-sorcery as Robert E Howard created it was half fantasy and half horror. He had to sell these stories to Farnsworth Wright after all, and WT was a horror pulp. In the stories that Howard wanted to sell to Adventure (Stories like "By This Axe I Rule" or "Kings of the Night") he drops almost all the horror trimmings, writing something closer to a Harold Lamb or Talbot Mundy tale. He was a professional and he wanted to crack more prestigious magazines.

So, Weird Tales is the gateway. Howard introduces Thoth-Amon in "The Phoenix on the Sword" (December 1932) and this evil Stygian priest doesn't bear the look (not yet, later in the Marvel Comics and the L Sprague de Camp pastiches he would get the buzz cut.) Even though Thoth-Amon didn't get much description, his activities are similar to another character, Fu Manchu:
Of him it had been fitly said that he had a brow like Shakespeare and a face like Satan. Something serpentine, hypnotic, was in his very presence. Smith drew one sharp breath, and was silent. Together, chained to the wall, two mediaeval captives, living mockeries of our boasted modern security, we crouched before Dr. Fu-Manchu.
Robert E Howard had written of his own version of Fu named Kathulos of Egypt in "Skull-Face" (October-December 1929):
The hands--but, oh God, the face! A skull to which no vestige of flesh seemed to remain but on which taut brownish-yellow skin grew fast, etching out every detail of that terrible death's-head. The forehead was high and in a way magnificent, but the head was curiously narrow through the temples, and from under penthouse brows great eyes glimmered like pools of yellow fire. The nose was high-bridged and very thin; the mouth was a mere colorless gash between thin, cruel lips. A long, bony neck supported this frightful vision and completed the effect of a reptilian demon from some medieval hell.
Howard, after Rohmer, is clearly working in a tradition descended from Otranto, with men reborn from Ancient Asia, whether China or Egypt, the cradle of mysterious wisdom and evil.

To make this even clearer, there are two major undercurrents in the gothics that truly pin down the evil wizard type. The first is that the underlying plot of gothic stories is about something from the past terrorizing the present. In Otranto, this is the specter of the giant knight who crushes Manfred's heir with a helmet, steps out of paintings, and ultimately destroys him. In later years this can be seen in horror fiction in any story in which an ancient object haunts a family like in "The Stone Idol" by Seabury Quinn, or in ghost stories like MR James' "Lost Hearts." In mystery fiction this is the crime that haunts the perpetrator such as the classic Wilkie Collins story The Moonstone (1868) or Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock tale, "The Adventure of the Crooked Man" (The Strand, July 1893). In the noir branch, it's the unknown crime in Cornell Woolrich's The Black Curtain (1941). In sword-and-sorcery (and other forms of fantasy), this is Bilbo's Ring or the ancient snake worshippers of Set, who harken back to the Snake Men of Prehistory. It can be any object, book, knowledge, god, or monster that returns centuries later. And that's our sorcerer buddy. He is either such a person, or works for such a deity, or possesses such an object. They buy into the idea that ancient power can make them powerful now. It is up to the barbarian hero to thwart such ideas.

The second theme that the gothics give us is the idea that old things are evil and new things are our savior. This is immediately evident when you look at the hero, Brak:
The mendicant seemed to hunch in fright cowed by the figure before him: the bigger man plainly was an outlander, a huge, yellow-headed giant whose hair was plaited in a single long braid that hung down his back. A glossy fur cloak and cowl around the barbarian’s shoulders reflected the torchglare dimly. The big man was naked save for this fur and a garment of lion’s hide about his hips.
Brak is young, well-maned, and virile. The female characters are usually voluptuous, fecund, and available. Villains such as Ariane are usually too beautiful, hinting at their deceit, and often prove to be withered crones or monsters when their magic is dispelled. The wizard is the exact opposite to Brak, old-looking, bald, and with eyes that contain evil powers. The baldness is important, for it is a sign of age, impotence and decay. In gothic texts, the authors often suggested that the Roman Catholic religion was likewise decrepit and oppressive; old, but evil. The gothics weren't anti-religion, just anti-Catholic, for the hero (no longer disguised as a peasant, returned to his true lordship) marries the heroine in a good Anglican church, with a bright future ahead. The evil, old dude gets his comeuppance and if he has time says something akin to "And I would have gotten away with to too, if it weren't for you meddling kids." This kind of shorthand works for all kinds of villains and comics certainly have had their share, such as The Red Skull in Captain America.

Lastly, to cement the point, let's consider Elric of Melnibone. Michael Moorcock created Elric as a kind of anti-Conan. Instead of strong, he is a weak albino. Instead of handsome, he is freakish. In fact, Moorcock uses many of the villain characteristics to create his anti-hero. He is haunted by his sword, Stormbringer, who must be fed souls to keep the weak body going. This sword is the object from the past that haunts his present, dooming his future. In many ways, Elric is the image of the sorcerer, not the swordsman. In some ways but not all. Elric is not bald but has a flowing white mane. He is also resourceful, able to have companions, and is capable of love. Moorcock created a hero who is halfway between the two types. This should not be surprising when you consider one of his influences was Mervyn Peake, who wrote the Gormenghast trilogy, undoubtedly the most gothic of the fantasy sagas. Unlike Tolkien, Moorcock is consciously choosing to work inside the gothic tradition, though bending and stretching it to his own ends. This opening of gothic elements helped allow sword-and-sorcery to evolve past the Howardian formula. Series like Gene Wolfe's The Book of New Sun and Samuel R Delaney's Neveryona play with these elements in fresh ways. (Though read any Conan novel by Robert Jordan, Leonard Carpenter, or others and you will find any number of baldies trying to resurrect ancient gods. Even worse, consider Skeletor from The Masters of the Universe! Alas, some like the formulas as is).

GW Thomas has appeared in over 400 different books, magazines and ezines including The Writer, Writer's Digest, Black October Magazine and Contact. His website is gwthomas.org. He is editor of Dark Worlds magazine.



Monday, February 02, 2009

Dragons are NOT giant monsters

How Not to Make a Giant Monster vs. Vikings and Alien Movie

We've already seen how not to market one, but according to reviews so far, the filmmakers of Outlander could've used some help in creating it too.

The AMC blog (which I don't always agree with) says, "Tragically, the filmmakers had no idea what it is about the idea that set nerdy hearts aflutter. And so they deliver a bush-league, cable television-quality sword-and-dragon actioner -- one that's as goofy as you could imagine, but without the smarts to make the silliness endearing or cool."

Roger Ebert (whom I also don't always agree with, but blindly trust to be thoughtful about his opinions) also says that Outlander is mostly a medieval knight vs. dragon story transplanted into a Viking setting with some scifi decoration that you're not supposed to think too hard about. I don't expect to dislike the movie just because Ebert and AMC did, but they've succeeded in dramatically lowering my expectations for it.

And now for a cool giant monster (and some even cooler giant robots)



Not sure who it's by, but I found it here.



By Otis Frampton.



By Eric Chiang.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Adventureblog Theater: Hulk vs. Wolverine; Vikings and Alien vs. a giant monster

Hulk vs. Wolverine

From an upcoming direct-to-DVD movie that'll be paired with a Hulk vs. Thor feature. Sounds (and looks) really darn good to me.



Outlander trailer

Here's the trailer for that Vikings vs. Alien vs. Giant Monster flick we've been talking about.



No wait, this is

Guess they decided that one wasn't cool enough, so they made this.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Awesome List: Psych and Burn Notice, Marvel movies and cartoons, giant monsters, and still more Indy

Josie gets Psyched



Rachel Leigh Cook is going to be on an episode of Psych; playing Shawn's high school crush. Also, Cybill Shepherd will be playing Shawn's mom in a couple of episodes.

Even more important to know: the next season kicks off July 18.

Six gets Burned



Man, I'm just full of the puns today, aren't I? Genuinely sorry.

Anyway, in other awesome USA Network news, Tricia Helfer's going to be in a few episodes of Burn Notice. Season Two begins on July 10.

Jin gets Strained



Okay, I guess I wasn't that sorry.

Finding out that Daniel Dae Kim from Lost is in A&E's Andromeda Strain mini-series on May 26 and 27 makes me sort of want to see it.

Marvel movies and TV

I haven't talked much about Iron Man, because I really don't have anything to add to the discussion. I feel just like everyone else who's seen it: it's the best superhero movie ever made and it makes me want to read about that Tony Stark in the comics. I'm thinking I'll probably start with Enter the Mandarin. I hear good things.

Also, that scene after the credits was awesome and it makes me even more excited to see The Incredible Hulk because I have a feeling we're going to see it repeated there. The weekend Iron Man was released, Marvel announced it's movie plans for the next couple of years: Iron Man 2 and Thor in 2010, then Captain America and The Avengers in 2011. An Ant-Man movie is also supposed to fit in there somewhere.

I've been wondering why Marvel would bother with an Ant-Man movie until I saw this schedule and realized that Iron Man, the Hulk, and Thor are the original Avengers, with Captain America joining soon afterwards. Except that Iron Man, the Hulk, and Thor weren't the entire original team. There was also Ant-Man. (And the Wasp, but she's Ant-Man's wife and could possibly appear in the Ant-Man movie, if they plan to use her at all.)

So, I'm speculating that we'll see a similar post-credits scene in all the upcoming Marvel movies, culminating in an amazing cross-over movie event, The Avengers.

In other Marvel screen news, Marvel recently announced a new cartoon for next year. Marvel Super Hero Squad is a "'super stylized' animated series geared toward 6- to 8-year-olds." It'll be joining Marvel's current cartoon properties: Spectacular Spider-Man (possibly the greatest super-hero cartoon of all time), Wolverine and the X-Men, and Iron Man: Armored Adventures.

Giant, floating, space squid



Undead Backbrain profiles my new favorite giant monster: Dogora.

The Outlander monster



Looks Awesome, doesn't it? It's from that Vikings vs. alien vs. giant monster movie Undead Backbrain has been telling us about.

Indiana Jones and the Tomb of the Gods



The ads for Dark Horse's Indiana Jones and the Tomb of the Gods comic have been frustrating in their lack of information about the story. Here's the solicitation for the first issue:
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. may be the world's preeminent archeologist, but that doesn't mean he's spent his life in the library! Ready and able to do whatever it takes to preserve the final remnants of history's most significant happenings, he'll go head-to-head against Hitler's elite who want nothing more than to exploit objects of ancient power in pursuit of world dominance!

Be there for the beginning of this roller coaster thrill ride of non-stop excitement as Indiana Jones dons his hat, packs his whip, and undertakes an endeavor more awesome than anything ever!

Indiana Jones sets out on an all-new adventure that will take him around the globe!
I'm not looking for spoilers here, but that's not at all helpful, right? It's just a summary of the basic Indiana Jones concept. Like we really need to know what that is. It doesn't tell you anything about when the adventure takes place or even what "the Tomb of the Gods" is supposed to be. The ads for issues 2 and 3 aren't any better.

Fortunately, Comic Book Resources has an interview with some extra information. It's set in between Temple of Doom and Raiders at a time when Indy is transitioning from being all about "fortune and glory" to becoming the "it belongs in a museum" guy. Personally, I'm not sure those two statements show the character growth that Tomb of the Gods writer Rob Williams sees in them, but that's a subject for a longer post. Williams says that the "fortune and glory" Indy would've shot the ark with a bazooka at the end of Raiders and Tomb of the Gods is meant to depict that change. (I agree that Indy has changed by the end of Raiders, but it's a change we see within Raiders itself, not off-camera sometime after Temple of Doom.)

They're still not telling what The Tomb of the Gods is, but I can let that go. Even if I don't agree with him, I appreciate the thought that Williams has put into his story, so I'll be checking it out when it's available in collected form.

Indiana Jones makes everything better, part whatever

This is another travel package, but unlike Expedia's that just lets you visit the locations from the various Indy films, Viajes Con Imaginación have a deal that's part Egyptian travel; part mystery party.
...they not only organize your entire itinerary, but they also plan strange things and make them happen to you. For example: robberies, kidnappings, ghosts coming to haunt you at night...
They also do a Jack the Ripper themed London tour. So very, very cool.

Michael Bay: Crystal Skull is "gonna suck."

You might be surprised to hear it after reading that headline, but I have new respect for Michael Bay.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Spaceman Circumstances

Star Wars 1942



This idea is really long overdue when you think about it.

Out with Flash Gordon; in with Knight Rider


Really neither Flash Gordon's cancellation nor Knight Rider's being picked up as a series should come as a surprise.

GalaxyQuest comics



I don't know if this can capture the Awesomeness of the movie, but I'm sure gonna find out.

Larklight


For those of us who like the steampunk movies but were a tad disappointed in The Golden Compass, here's our second chance.

Frank Frazetta's Savage World



More here.

Not too incredible Shrinking Man

Enough with the comedy remakes of cool scifi properties. It's not attractive on Land of the Lost and it doesn't make me want to see The Incredible Shrinking Man either. I mean, Eddie Murphy? Honestly.

Robot McGee explains fine art

Is fine art a mystery to you? Never fear. Now there's a robot who will explain famous paintings to you. Sort of.

Steampunk Star Wars action figures



Somebody give this man a job designing these things so they can be mass-produced and I can buy them.

Steampunk anthology

This sounds like a must-have and Bookgasm's interview with the editors is a must-read if only for the numerous recommendations of other steampunk books.

Giant Styrobot



Pretty self-explanatory actually.

Giant monster attacks inevitable

Why oh why will no one listen to the scientists?
We can say with certainty that there will be a giant monster attack on Washington DC within the next twenty years, and that this monster will probably pee on the Jefferson Memorial...
Wake up, people!

Giant robot imprisons cars

And it's not like we can rely on our giant robots. They're already turning against us!

Stupid scientists plan giant, buzz-saw-wielding, "fire fighter" robot.



This is going to go horribly, horribly wrong.

Kim Jong Il unfolds into giant robot

We're all doomed
.

Outlander poster



On a lighter note, the alien vs. Vikings vs. giant monster movie Outlander now has a poster.

Super Robot Red Baron

"Red Baron is a show that's all about chunky-looking giant robots fighting each other and thrashing lots of model buildings, which is a formula that's pretty hard to find fault with."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Thundercats, Ho!



I guess Thundercats Season 2 is available in the UK now or something.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Awesome List: God Squad, Forbidden Kingdom, Dracula Meets the Wolf Man, new Resident Evil movie, Automatons, vikings vs. aliens, and more

The God Squad



Marvel's solicitations for June just came out and I've only just read May's. Sad.

But I'm glad I didn't skip over it because then I wouldn't know about Snowbird's upcoming appearance in Incredible Hercules. You know, Marvel... it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if she were to stick around for a while.

The Forbidden Kingdom

Went to 10,000 BC the other night and saw a huge lobby display for The Forbidden Kingdom. The display made it look like a bad video game movie except that it has both Jackie Chan and Jet Li in it. That's worth gambling on right there even if it ends up sucking.

Fortunately though, the trailer makes it look really good, like it's sort of combining the humor of Chan's movies with the artsy fartsiness of Li's.

The Many Moods of Wonder Woman

Includes: Smug, Pensive, Surrounded by Idiots, and Running in a Nightie. Thank you, Dorian!

Frank Frazetta's Dracula Meets the Wolf Man



Steve Niles is writing the latest comic based on a Frank Frazetta painting: Dracula Meets the Wolf Man. So far, the Frazetta comics have been amazing and this should only raise the bar a bit.

It was Lassie ruined Xena

So, I've been watching Jericho again and was surprised to recognize the guy who plays Constantino, the whacked out mayor of New Bern. When I was watching Jericho last season, I hadn't yet discovered Psych, but now I realize that Constantino is none other than Timothy Omundson, who plays Psych's Carlton Lassiter. But that's not all.

I wanted to make sure that Jericho hadn't switched actors for Constantino and that Omundson had actually played him in the first season too, so I took a trip to IMDB. Sure enough, he had, but the big surprise was when I learned that Omundson also played the character who ruined Xena: Warrior Princess for me.



I can't possibly tell you how much I grooved on Xena up until the point where she and Gabby met Eli and moved to India to become hippies. After that, it was a long, slow descent into crazytown. I'm going to take extra special pleasure every time Shawn and Gus torture Lassiter from now on.

Resident Evil: Degeneration

Not quite the sequel to Extinction I was hoping for, but then, I'm a little fuzzy on whether this is supposed to be a sequel to the Milla Jovovich movies at all. Maybe that one's still coming.



Automatons



This is how humanity dies. Holy crap, that looks cool as hell.

Outlander

And it just gets better. Vikings vs. Aliens.

The Sinai Secret

Bookgasm mentions a book by Gregg Loomis that sounds like enough of a mixture between Indiana Jones and National Treasure that it would have to try really hard to make me not like it.

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