Wednesday, October 08, 2014
Shark Night (2011)
Who's In It: Sara Paxton (Superhero Movie), Dustin Milligan (The Butterfly Effect 2), Katherine McPhee (American Idol), and Donal Logue (Blade, Gotham).
What It's About: A group of college students go to a rural area on a saltwater lake and are attacked by catfish. Just kidding. It's sharks.
How It Is: Every cabin-in-the-woods cliché ever is packed into this thing, including creepy rednecks. There's a slight attempt at characterization by giving Sara Paxton's character a backstory that ties into what's going on with the sharks, but it's stupid, barely sketched out, and isn't the kind of thing that happens to real people. The movie does one clever thing by gender switching the virginal character into a boy (Milligan), but that and Paxton's bikini are really the only things Shark Night has going for it.
No wait, that's a lie. I don't know if this was in the theatrical release, but the DVD has a post-credits rap song performed by the cast and shot while they made the movie. And it is awesome. Truly and unironically. I mean, it's awful, but it's hilariously, entertainingly awful and I wish the movie was as good. It's funnier if you've seen the movie, but because it made sitting through that garbage worthwhile, here it is:
Rating: Two out of five mother-sharking hammerheads.
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Oh man, I love shark movies and this one has been on my list for a while. But the reason I haven't watched it is exactly the reasons you list.
That's for crushing another dream, Michael.
Kind of like how all the magic is now gone from the phrase "Paxton's bikini."
Or maybe it's MORE magical...
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