Jumper (2008)

Well, that was lame.

An Entitled Prick with teleporting powers learns that he's just one in a long line of Entitled Pricks with teleporting powers who've been fighting against bigoted, teleporting-Entitled-Prick Haters since the Dark Ages. There's no basis or explanation given for why these two groups hate each other or even how the teleporters came into being. They just do and they just did and that's all there is to it. Live with it.

No one in this movie is likable or even very interesting, not even Entitled Prick Hater Samuel L. Jackson who -- except for a half-second moment at the very end of the movie -- never breaks out of pissed-off mode. The role is a waste of his talent.

The best part of the movie (i.e. the only reason I wasn't completely bored the whole time) is the jumping effect, but even that has it's problems. For example, one of the coolest uses of it is when a jumper is fighting the jumper-haters in the desert, jumps to London where he's nearly hit by a double-decker bus, then jumps back to the fight with the bus and makes the bus crash into the jumper-haters (I almost wrote "bad guys" instead of "jumper-haters," but really, they're all bad guys in this movie). It's an awesome trick until you realize that the double-decker bus was likely full of tourists who are now mangled corpses in the burning wreck of the former bus. And that's not the only time something like that happens. The Entitled Pricks take no one else into consideration except for themselves and maybe the girls they like.

Really miserable movie.

Two out of five Roman Colosseum teleport battles.