“If Quite Convenient, Sir" | Teen Titans #13 (1968)

Index of other entries in The Christmas Carol Project

We already covered this scene in the very first (and so far, only) post on the Teen Titans adaptation, because it's part of the introduction to Scrounge and Ratchet. But it's been a couple of years since I've gotten to write about the Titans story, so I should at least share another panel that's related to this year's scene.

Back to a real adaptation tomorrow as we move into cartoon versions.

Ted White's Fantastic: Short Heroic Fantasy [Guest Post]

By GW Thomas

The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction began its life as The Magazine of Fantasy. By the second issue the words "and Science Fiction" had been added. Why? Because no pure Fantasy magazine had ever made it past five issues. Weird Tales had been more Horror than Fantasy. Unknown published John W Campbell's version of Fantasy, but a brand for Science Fiction readers, almost an anti-Fantasy at times. Cele Goldsmith and the long-running Fantastic knew this too and the mix had always been heavier to the SF side. During the early 1960s Goldsmith cultivated Sword and Sorcery writers like Fritz Leiber, bringing him back to magazine publishing with new Fafhrd and Grey Mouser tales. She also brought in new writers like John Jakes with Brak the Barbarian and Roger Zelazny with Dilvish the Damned. This continued until June 1965 when Goldsmith (now Lalli) left the publication when Fantastic was sold to Sol Cohen, with a change from monthly to a bi-monthly schedule.

Laili was replaced by Joseph Ross (Joseph Wrzos) who inherited a huge stockpile of stories from the old days of the Pulps. Fantastic became a reprint magazine, its first new issue containing only one original story, the Fafhrd and Gray Mouser tale "Stardock". Ross published the small reserve of Fantasy tales purchased before the switch that included Avram Davidson's classic novel The Phoenix and the Mirror and "The Bells of Shoredan" by Zelazny. Amongst the reprints was the Pusadian tale "The Eye of Tandyla" by L Sprague de Camp (from Fantastic Adventures, May 1951). But Ross wasn't long for the position, being replaced by Harry Harrison and later Barry N Malzberg. Both Harrison and Malzberg would leave over the reprints that plagued the magazine. They wanted to edit a magazine of new, modern Science Fiction and Fantasy.

Fantastic needed a new editor. One who could present both quality Science Fiction and Fantasy. Cohen was willing to sell his reprints in other formats and leave the new editor to his work. A choice was found with Robert Silverberg's help: junior editor from FaSF, Ted White. For ten years White would create a magazine that featured intriguing works of Fantasy as well as decorate it with great artists including Jeff Jones, Mike Kaluta, Ken Kelly, Harry Roland, and Stephen Fabian (and occasionally Joe Staton's pieces that remind me of DoodleArt). And this with the major handicap of low pay, for Fantastic offered its writers only one-cent a word in a marketplace that usually paid three to five cents. By cultivating new writers and snapping up gems where he could, White offered stories that often were chosen for the Year's Best Fantasy collections and even won the occasional award.

White's debut was April 1969 and its contents were not spectacular, chosen by others. The only hint of what was to come was Fritz Leiber's review column on ER Eddison's The Worm Ouroboros. It would have to wait until December 1969 before a truly interesting Fantasy would appear. This was Piers Anthony's Arabian Nights inspired Hasan, which Anthony supported with an essay on Arabesque Fantasy.

April 1970 saw another Fafhrd and Gray Mouser tale, a series dating back to Goldsmith but one that White was happy to continue. "The Snow Women" is a tale of Fafhrd's youth set in the cold north. Two more would follow in later years, "Trapped in the Shadowlands" (November 1973) and "Under the Thumbs of the Gods" (April 1975). At this time Leiber was collecting his tales into the first collections of Lankhmar and the new material would later be included.

Also in the April 1970 issue was John Brunner's "The Wager Lost by Winning," part of his Traveller in Black series, of which he would continue with "Dread Empire" (April 1971). Brunner, a British author known for his Science Fiction, created something different in these tales of the odd little wizard who roams the world, and they would win him a place in the Thieves' World alumni eight years later.

June 1971 featured a new non-fiction series, "Literary Swordsmen and Sorcerers" by L Sprague De Camp. This series of articles looked at classic Fantasy authors including Robert E Howard, HP Lovecraft, Fletcher Pratt, William Morris, L Ron Hubbard, TH White and JRR Tolkien, running off and on until 1976. These pieces offered intriguing insight into the lives and trials of Fantasy writers, leading de Camp to write the first major biographies of both Lovecraft (Lovecraft: A Biography), 1975) and Howard (Dark Valley Destiny, 1983).

February 1972 saw the first of the Michael Moorcock stories to appear in Fantastic, with "The Sleeping Sorceress" starring the albino superstar, Elric of Melnibone. Later the same year, Count Brass featuring Dorian Hawkmoon would appear in August 1972. Both characters would become one as Moorcock melded his multiverse together to include everyone from Elric to Sojan to Jerry Cornelius.

White published the magazine versions of several good heroic fantasy novels during his decade: The Crimson Witch (October 1970) by Dean R Koontz, which feels more like Sword and Planet, like Ted White's own "Wolf Quest" (April 1971), "The Forges of Nainland are Cold" by Avram Davidson (Ursus of Ultima Thule in book form) in August 1972, The Fallible Fiend by L Sprague de Camp (December 1972-February 1973), part of his Novaria series, "The Son of Black Morca" by Alexei and Cory Panshin (Earthmagic in paperback) in April-July 1973, The White Bull by Fred Saberhagen (November 1976) who was moving away from the robotic Berserkers to become a Fantasy bestseller, and The Last Rainbow by Parke Godwin (July 1978). All of which would populate the book racks of the 1980s.

August 1972 saw the beginning of a series of new Conan pastiches by L Sprague de Camp and Lin Carter. "The Witches of the Mist" (August 1972), "The Black Sphinx of Nebthu" (July 1973), "Red Moon of Zembabwei" (July 1974), and "Shadows in the Skull" (February 1975), all of which form Conan of Aquilonia. Lin Carter groused in his intros to Year's Best Fantasy about this book, which had been stuck in legal limbo with the collapse of Lancer. Finally free, it appeared serially in Fantastic then in paperback in 1977.

Several other Sword and Sorcery series got a new start or a first start in Fantastic. Lin Carter wrote new tales of Thongor's youth with "Black Hawk of Valkarth" (September 1974), "The City in the Jewel" (December 1975) and "Black Moonlight" (November 1976). He also offered posthumous collaborations with masters Robert E Howard in "The Tower of Time" (June 1975) - a James Allison reincarnation story - and with Clark Ashton Smith in verbose Mythos-heavy pieces, "The Scroll of Morloc" (October 1975) and "The Stair in the Crypt" (August 1976). The February 1977 issue featured an interview with Lin Carter that was informative about his days on the Ballantine Fantasy series and other Fantasy goings-on in the 1960s and 1970s.

Brian Lumley published some of his first Primal Lands tales, part Lovecraftian horror, part Sword and Sorcery in Fantastic. These included "Tharquest and the Lamia Orbiquita" (November 1976) and "How Kank Thad Returned to Bhur-esh" (June 1977) . Lumley's Fantasy harkens back to Weird Tales and the works of HP Lovecraft's Dreamlands and Clark Ashton Smith's sardonic fantasies.

Another good start was made by Australian writer Keith Taylor, who wrote about wandering singer and swordsman Felimid mac Fel. These stories were the embryonic form of the book Bard, which Taylor began under the pseudonym Denis More. "Fugitives in Winter" (October 1975), "The Forest of Andred" (November 1976), and "Buried Silver" (February 1977) form the first part of the series that went on to contain five volumes with further tales in the new Weird Tales in the 1990s.

Other heroic fantasy pieces included "The Holding of Kolymar" (October 1972) by Gardner F Fox, "The Night of Dreadful Silence" (September 1973) by Glen Cook, destined for fame with his Black Company in the 1980s, "Death from the Sea" by Harvey Schreiber (August 1975), "Two Setting Suns" (May 1976) by Karl Edward Wagner, part of the Kane series , and "Nemesis Place" (April 1978) by David Drake, featuring Dama and Vettius, Drake's two Roman heroes.

Not all of White's choices were Sword and Sorcery. He published the wonderful "Will-o-Wisp"(September-November 1974) by Thomas Burnett Swann, "War of the Magicians" (November 1973) by William Rostler, "The Dragon of Nor-Tali" (February 1975) by Juanita Coulsen, "The Lonely Songs of Loren Dorr" (May 1976) by George RR Martin (long before Game of Thrones) and "A Malady of Magicks" (October 1978) by Craig Shaw Gardner, beginning the popular humorous Fantasy series featuring Ebenezum.

By the end of 1978 Fantastic was on a quarterly schedule and losing readership. White had grown more dissatisfied with Sol Cohen, wanting to take the magazine into the slick market. He also wanted a raise. January 1979 was his last issue before he left to edit Heavy Metal magazine. He was replaced with neophyte Elinor Mavor. Another period of reprints followed and the look of the magazine declined. Mavor was finding her feet with new authors like Wayne Wightman, Brad Linaweaver and artists like Janny Wurts. She published Stephen Fabian's graphic story "Daemon" (July 1979-July 1980), but the only gem to appear before amalgamation with Amazing Stories was the two part serial of The White Isle by Darrell Schweister, with illustrations by Gary Freeman, in the April and July 1980 issues. A last gasp of wonder before Fantastic was gone. It was the end of an era, but too few even knew what was lost. Other magazines would attempt to do what Ted White had done, through self sacrifice and continuous networking, but none would ever be such a haven for short heroic fantasy again.

GW Thomas has appeared in over 400 different books, magazines and ezines including The Writer, Writer's Digest, Black October Magazine and Contact. His website is gwthomas.org. He is editor of Dark Worlds magazine.

“If Quite Convenient, Sir" | Graphic Classics, Volume 19: Christmas Classics (2010)

Index of other entries in The Christmas Carol Project

It's been tough to get a particular read on Scrooge and Cratchit in Alex Burrows and Micah Farritor's version so far. The two characters have performed their parts, but there hasn't been anything to distinguish them yet from other adaptations. But like with the other comics adaptations we've looked at, this scene helps some with that.

As soon as the charitable solicitors leave, Scrooge is up and putting on his coat. When he asks Cratchit about the day off tomorrow, it's with the same sneer he's been wearing for most of the story so far. There's an arrogant quality to this Scrooge. He has a sense of humor, but it's mean-spirited. He doesn't complain that Christmas off isn't fair, so he's not even making a bid for sympathy. That reinforces the idea that he's proud and sees others - especially Cratchit - as beneath him.

When he leaves, the story follows him and leaves Cratchit alone in the office. It makes no mention of how long Cratchit will be there, further distancing Scrooge from his employee. In fact, this is the first interaction that Scrooge and Cratchit have had all story. They've worked together in the same office for five pages now, but haven't spoken to each other. There's been no threatening of Cratchit's job or anything else. Cratchit is mostly ignored; not worth Scrooge's attention.

And with only two lines of dialogue so far, Cratchit's barely worth the reader's attention either. I still can't get a good read on him, which may be intentional if Burrows and Farritor are trying to keep me in Scrooge's shoes. Maybe in this version I'm not supposed to get much about Cratchit until we visit his house later in the story.

As Scrooge takes off, there is a lone caroller at the door singing "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," but Scrooge is unprepared for him and doesn't have time to grab a ruler. Instead, he growls at the kid, chasing him off, and slams the door shut behind himself.

The boy doesn't seem to be singing for money though. His hands are full with a songbook and a lantern on a pole, so he doesn't even have anything to collect donations in if they were offered to him. I'm not sure why one kid would be singing door to door by himself, but the exchange doesn't seem to be making any social commentary other than "Scrooge really hates Christmas."

We get more of that message when the story follows Scrooge into the street. Farritor draws a lovely panel in which Scrooge is surrounded by Christmas celebrants shopping, partying, and smooching in the road. Unlike the previous street scene in this version, this one is full of holly and other greenery.

Christmas is in full force, but Scrooge is having none of it. He's raising one arm as if to strike someone who isn't there and he's frowning as he says, "Humbug." The sneer is gone though, maybe because no one's paying any attention to him. Scrooge's hatred of Christmas is genuine, but he possibly plays it up when he knows he can get a rise out of someone.

“If Quite Convenient, Sir" | Campfire’s A Christmas Carol (2010)

Index of other entries in The Christmas Carol Project

Scott McCullar and Naresh Kumar's adaptation skips the street scene outside of Scrooge's office except for some carollers. Dickens' solo kid has been joined by four more (singing "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," for the record), but this won't be the only version to turn the boy into a group.

I'm not sure why adaptations do that except to make the act of carolling more festive and fun. When a lone, small boy does it, it feels like an act of desperation as he tries to make enough money to maybe eat that night. When it's a group, it's a communal activity that possibly they're doing for the fun of it. So far, the adaptations we've looked at have all kept the kid by himself, heightening the despair that's mingled with the Christmas celebrations. By turning him into a quintet, McCullar and Kumar make a conscious choice that lightens the mood.

It gets dark again quickly when Scrooge gets involved though. I noticed last year that (intentionally by the creators or not) this Scrooge isn't just grumpy and mean; he's actively evil. When he picks up the ruler to chase away the characters, it's not just what he had handy, it's a bona fide weapon. Scrooge's ruler changes size from panel to panel (it's relatively normal-sized in the first panel above), but when he brandishes it against the kids it looks like it's about two feet long and has a sharpened end.

As the kids are still fleeing and Scrooge is still holding the ruler, he says to Cratchit, "And you will want all day off tomorrow, I suppose?" It's like he's challenging Cratchit.

In the background, Cratchit's already putting on his hat. No one's acknowledged that it's quitting time, but Cratchit knows that it is and he's wasting no time. I don't imagine that Cratchit's actually bold enough to leave early, but the effect is that Scrooge sort of threatens him and he's beating feet out of there. His "If it's convenient, sir," sounds like a way of deliberately not answering Scrooge's challenge.

When Scrooge says that it's not convenient, he's got the same mad look in his eye that he had when he talked about boiling people in their own pudding. He gets no sympathy points in this one. He feels like a sociopath looking for an excuse to snap.

Curiously, Cratchit doesn't seem bothered when he says, "It's only once a year, sir." He looks grim-faced and determined. A couple of panels later, Cratchit slips up and almost wishes Scrooge a "Merry Christmas," but catches himself and changes it to "good night." He doesn't look at all worried though. He's more focused on trying to get his coat buttoned.

A possible explanation for all that is something I've just noticed. This Cratchit has a large, square chin that's in direct contrast with Scrooge's smaller, weaker one. Cratchit's not a little guy either, physically. So it's very possible that he wants to avoid a confrontation not because he's afraid of Scrooge, but because he's afraid of what he might have to do to Scrooge if it came to that. And then Cratchit would be out of a job and it's a whole mess...

This is one, crazy Christmas Carol, but I'm digging it.

"JEEEEEEEG!" | The Nerd Lunch fellas and I talk Wrath of Khan

The awesome guys at Nerd Lunch had me back on last week, which was fantastic for a number of reasons. It hadn't been that long since I'd been on to talk about Star Wars, one of the great loves of my nerdy life, so I was surprised and especially excited to come back and talk not only about another great nerd-love, Star Trek, but also about what's arguably the best use of that show's most recognizable characters.

Not only that, but I got to participate in the guys' Drill Down format, where they do a deep dive into a single movie. That's something I've always wanted to do with them.

And not only that, but I also finally got to participate in a full episode with Jeeg, so now I feel like I've had the full Nerd Lunch experience. I know I'm gushing, but I really do love hanging out and chatting with those guys, so I hope you'll give it a listen, either via the embedded version above or however you like to listen to podcasts.

Speaking of gushing, Wrath of Khan is a great movie and we give it a lot of love, but we also talk about some of its problems. Or at least about a couple of problems that I have with it. One of the cool things about the episode is that we don't all agree about everything, so it's a great discussion and I hope you'll dig it.

"If Quite Convenient, Sir" | A Christmas Carol: The Graphic Novel (2008)

Index of other entries in The Christmas Carol Project

A couple of things have marked Sean Michael Wilson and Mike Collins' adaptation so far. First, though Classical Comics labels it as the "Original Text Version," it does make cuts. That's also true in this year's scene and I'll try to stop bringing it up every year from now on. Especially since this year's scene uses the edits to correct a problem I had earlier on.

In the introduction to Scrooge, Wilson's adaptation edited out some of Dickens' text, but still used a great deal of it when Collins' art was already communicating the same thing. As the charitable solicitors leave Scrooge's office though, the comic devotes a whole page - mostly wordless - to following them into the street and seeing the celebrations going on outside. The page ends with a caption about the intense, biting cold, but the majority of the page is just street scenes, including the "ragged men and boys" warming their hands around a brazier.

People on the street don't appear to be either especially joyous or miserable. Most of them are just going about their business, although the brazier men are appropriately scowling at their condition. The text makes no overt comment about the dichotomy between rich and poor celebrants, but the message is still there in those men's faces.

Though the Classical version cuts some text, it faithfully includes all the story beats, including the little boy singing "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen." Scrooge even grabs a ruler like he does in Dickens and the Marvel version, and the boy's reaction to that is pretty funny.

The second thing I've noticed in the Classical adaptation so far is that it's been hard to get a read on Scrooge and his relationship with Cratchit. I've enjoyed the extra space that this version gives the story, but Wilson and Collins haven't used it for character development. That changes a little with this scene. As in Dickens, Scrooge doesn't close up shop immediately after the caroller incident, but when it does become time to go, he's the one who makes the move.

Dickens mentions that Scrooge announces closing time, but he doesn't provide any dialogue for it. The first quote Dickens gives Scrooge in the scene is to ask if Cratchit needs the whole next day off. Wilson doesn't create dialogue where Dickens didn't, so it plays out a bit differently in this version. Instead of Scrooge's announcing the time, he just gets up, puts on his hat, and asks about the day off. That makes it seem like this is something Scrooge has been thinking about for a few minutes, as opposed to an off-handed comment. Collins draws Scrooge's face from the side and rear in this panel, so I can't tell what he's thinking, but it's possible to read a touch of sadness in him there, like he's been dreading this conversation.

For Cratchit's part, the clerk responds with chipper innocence. He seems almost clueless to Scrooge's grumping. There's no sense that he's incompetent - as suggested in the George C Scott version - but he may be dim-witted enough not to take Scrooge personally, even when Scrooge clearly means for Cratchit to. Or maybe Cratchit's just mature enough not to rise to to Scrooge's bait. It'll be interesting to see how this Cratchit behaves later in the story. Is he an idiot or just thick-skinned?

Whichever it is, Scrooge doesn't like that he's not getting his employee's goat and he gets angrier as the conversation progresses. By the end, he's impotently scowling as he orders Cratchit to "be here all the earlier next morning." It's an interesting power dynamic, because Scrooge clearly has all the power, but Cratchit is so not bothered by it that Scrooge doesn't actually benefit.

Like in Dickens, Cratchit gets to go home right after Scrooge and Collins draws Scrooge still skulking off down the street as Cratchit locks the front door. There's also a final panel of Cratchit's joyfully joining a couple of boys in a slide, further emphasizing how little effect Scrooge's mood has on him.

"If Quite Convenient, Sir" | Marvel Classic Comics #36 (1978)

Writer Doug Moench and the various artists he worked with on Marvel's version have already shown us a Christmas street scene in their introduction to Scrooge. It wasn't a very good one, because the art looked neither Christmasy nor even wintery. I complained about it at the time, because the scene looked so sunny and pleasant while the text claimed that it was "cold, bleak, biting weather." It's still a horrible mistake and bad comics, but if I was feeling charitable I could make a case for its being an intentional juxtaposition between the facts (it's miserably cold outside) and the way people feel about it (it's Christmas, so the weather doesn't bother us and we're acting as if it's beautiful).

As the solicitors leave Scrooge's office though, there's no contradiction. Moench tells us how cold it is and sure enough the artist for that page has some snow. The people on the street still look happy though, which is Dickens' point.

There's no sliding scene, but Moench does include the carolling boy and has him singing "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen." Scrooge even grabs a ruler, which is a detail I expect most adaptations to change or skip over.

This version hasn't given us a clear vision of Scrooge and Cratchit's relationship yet, so I looked to this scene would give me some clues and sure enough I think it does. Scrooge brings up the day off in the same word balloon where he's still complaining about the singing kid. Maybe he's just on a roll and wants something else to complain about. He looks smug as he gripes, so he doesn't get any sympathy points for that.

Cratchit looks timid as he replies that it's only once a year. Unlike the Classics Illustrated version, there's an imbalance of power between these two men. Scrooge is going to let Cratchit take the day, but he's also going to make the process as uncomfortable for Cratchit as he can.

He also leaves first, making Cratchit stay behind to lock up. And since the comic leaves Cratchit there so that it can follow Scrooge, there's no indication that Cratchit is leaving right behind his boss. As far as the comic is concerned, Cratchit could have another hour or two of duties to perform while Scrooge runs off to begin his evening. As Scrooge exits, Cratchit is running his hand through his hair with an expression that reads mostly like he's perturbed.

That's a weird transition for Cratchit, from timid in one panel to perturbed in the next. But it's no less flighty than Fred was during his visit, or than Scrooge was while talking to the solicitors. The Marvel artists continue to have a hard time with consistency in their storytelling, so all the characters feel manic. Earlier, Cratchit looked cowardly when Scrooge fussed at him about the coal, but then had the bravery to clap and shout, "Bravo!" after Fred's speech. It's like he doesn't really know how to act appropriately around Scrooge. Which makes total sense if Scrooge is also prone to sudden mood changes (something that might run in his family, if Fred is any indication).

If we take Marvel's portrayal of these characters seriously, their Scrooge may actually be mentally ill. That casts a disturbing light on the whole story then as Scrooge has visions and experiences a dramatic change in personality, but it's a fascinating take, even if it's unintended by the storytellers. I'm going to use that as my working theory and see if it holds up as I keep reading the Marvel version.

"If Quite Convenient, Sir" | Classics Illustrated #53 (1948)

In the interest of condensing the story to 45 pages, Classics Illustrated cuts out all the scene- and mood-setting, so there's no sliding scene or even a crowd scene on the street. There's not even an incident where Scrooge menaces any carollers. Instead, the comic goes straight from Scrooge's dismissal of the charitable solicitors to closing time.

Writer George D Lipscomb and artist Henry Kiefer have Scrooge and Cratchit leave the shop together, which fits with how they've portrayed the characters so far. Their Scrooge is a proud man who resents getting old and having less time to enjoy his wealth. Cratchit explicitly hates his job and his boss, but feels powerless to leave. Scrooge has threatened Cratchit's job a few times already; enough that Cratchit probably doesn't take him seriously. All that adds up to a couple of men who can't stand each other, but are aren't in any real danger of splitting up. They aren't at all equals in status, but they're more or less equals in power. Look at the way Cratchit openly glares at Scrooge in the second panel above. He can't stand the man and he's not afraid to show it.

When Scrooge brings up the day off, it's just a matter of making it official. He's not checking; he knows Cratchit must have it, but he also wants to remind Cratchit how he feels about it. His bringing it up is just his way of opening the door so he can complain. And Cratchit knows it, too. His "If quite convenient, sir" is a social obligation, but it's clear from his expression that he doesn't care if it's convenient or not.

There's no sympathy we're supposed to feel for this version of Scrooge. He's not actually miserable; he's just mean. He hates Christmas because the values it brings out in society are diametrically opposed to Scrooge's own. It's as simple as that and we're not meant to relate to him.

“If Quite Convenient, Sir" | Dickens

Illustration by Fred Barnard.

Borrowing from Siskoid's format on his Hamlet blog, as we look at Dickens' text, I'm going to copy the entire text of the section in italics and insert commentary. That'll help identify elements that we want to pay attention to in the adaptations.

Meanwhile the fog and darkness thickened so, that people ran about with flaring links, proffering their services to go before horses in carriages, and conduct them on their way. The ancient tower of a church, whose gruff old bell was always peeping slily down at Scrooge out of a gothic window in the wall, became invisible, and struck the hours and quarters in the clouds, with tremulous vibrations afterwards, as if its teeth were chattering in its frozen head up there. The cold became intense. In the main street, at the corner of the court, some labourers were repairing the gas-pipes, and had lighted a great fire in a brazier, round which a party of ragged men and boys were gathered: warming their hands and winking their eyes before the blaze in rapture. The water-plug being left in solitude, its overflowings sullenly congealed, and turned to misanthropic ice. The brightness of the shops where holly sprigs and berries crackled in the lamp-heat of the windows, made pale faces ruddy as they passed. Poulterers' and grocer' trades became a splendid joke: a glorious pageant, with which it was next to impossible to believe that such dull principles as bargain and sale had anything to do. 

This is Dickens' first description of the City at Christmastime. He's mentioned the time of year already of course, but he only now gets around to describing the action on the street. Most of the adaptations have already given some looks at this by now, but let's keep an eye out for how they depict the celebrations. In Dickens, the bright and decorated shops share a paragraph with the bitterness of the cold. It's a festive time, but it's also a dangerous time. Which adaptations take note of that?

The Lord Mayor, in the stronghold of the mighty Mansion House, gave orders to his fifty cooks and butlers to keep Christmas as a Lord Mayor's household should; and even the little tailor, whom he had fined five shillings on the previous Monday for being drunk and blood-thirsty in the streets, stirred up to-morrow's pudding in his garret, while his lean wife and the baby sallied out to buy the beef.

I know at least one adaptation that includes this scene and contrasts it with the poor celebrations of the less fortunate. Oddly, Dickens isn't making an overtly political point here, though it would be totally in character for him to do so. I've divided the Lord Mayor from the shops with my commentary, but this is a single paragraph in Dickens and he seems simply to be pointing out that everyone - from shoppers and merchants to the Lord Mayor and his prisoners - are in the holiday spirit. Everyone, of course, except Scrooge. My recollection is that most adaptations keep this focus, but I'll look out for any that take a political or sociological angle.

Foggier yet, and colder! Piercing, searching, biting cold. If the good Saint Dunstan had but nipped the Evil Spirit's nose with a touch of such weather as that, instead of using his familiar weapons, then indeed he would have roared to lusty purpose. 

According to my annotated edition, Dunstan was a medieval monk/blacksmith who claimed to have driven off a demon with a pair of red-hot pincers. That's not going to come up in any adaptations, but I figure it's worth explaining.

The owner of one scant young nose, gnawed and mumbled by the hungry cold as bones are gnawed by gods, stooped down at Scrooge's keyhole to regale him with a Christmas carol: but at the first sound of --

"God bless you merry gentleman!
May nothing you dismay!"

Scrooge seized the ruler with such energy of action, that the singer fled in terror, leaving the keyhole to the fog and even more congenial frost.

Almost every adaptation has a scene of Scrooge menacing some Christmas carolers and they're usually singing "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen." Some of the versions have already put that earlier as a way of introducing Scrooge, but this is something else I'll pay attention to.

At length the hour of shutting up the counting-house arrived. With an ill-will Scrooge dismounted from his stool, and tacitly admitted the fact to the expectant clerk in the Tank, who instantly snuffed his candle out, and put on his hat.

"You'll want all day to-morrow, I suppose?" said Scrooge.

Though Scrooge hates Christmas and would prefer that it not exist, he's aware of it and he's the one who brings up the time off to Cratchit. That's surprising, since he seems like the kind of man who would force Cratchit to ask for time off. Instead, he's essentially volunteering it. We assume that this isn't the first time that Scrooge and Cratchit have had this conversation, but it still takes some bite out of Scrooge to have him be the first to bring it up. Earlier, I wondered how seriously Cratchit took Scrooge's threats to fire him. This gives him reason not to take them that seriously. His boss is still an unpleasant man, but not entirely unreasonable. This is something that adaptations can play with though.

"If quite convenient, Sir."

"It's not convenient," said Scrooge, "and it's not fair. If I was to stop half-a-crown for it, you'd think yourself ill-used, I'll be bound?"

The clerk smiled faintly.

Cratchit's smiling here may be another indication that he doesn't take Scrooge's threats too seriously, but there are many kinds of smiles and it will say a lot about Scrooge and Cratchit's relationship how each adaptation portrays this.

"And yet," said Scrooge, "you don't think me ill-used, when I pay a day's wages for no work."

The clerk observed that it was only once a year.

"A poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every twenty-fifth of December!" said Scrooge, buttoning his great coat to the chin. "But I suppose you must have the whole day. Be here all the earlier next morning!"

Scrooge is almost sympathetic in this speech. He's still horrible and I wouldn't want to work for him, but I can also see his point. It's an opportunity for adaptations to create empathy with him if they choose to do that.

The clerk promised that he would; and Scrooge walked out with a growl. The office was closed in a twinkling, and the clerk, with the long ends of his white comforter dangling below his waist (for he boasted no great-coat), went down a slide on Cornhill, at the end of a lane of boys, twenty times, in honour of its being Christmas-eve, and then ran home to Camden Town as hard as he could pelt, to play at blindman's-buff.

In Dickens, Scrooge takes off first, leaving his underling to lock up the shop, but then Cratchit gets to go home right behind his boss. This is done in different ways in the adaptations though, which can reinforce whatever the version makes of Scrooge and his management style.

The detail of Cratchit's sliding on ice with a bunch of boys makes it into a surprising number of adaptations. The Reginald Owen movie actually introduces Scrooge's nephew by substituting him for Cratchit and having a couple of the boys be Cratchit's kids. I'll point out other sliding scenes as we go.

My annotated Christmas Carol tells me that Camden Town was a suburb at the time and was characterized by small, cheap houses. Dickens actually lived there himself as a boy.

As for blindman's-buff, I've always heard it referred to as blindman's bluff, but that's probably a corruption of the original name. The "buff" refers to the buffeting that the blindfolded player received at the hands of the others. It was totally in rules for the other contestants to push the "blindman" or put things in his way for him to trip over in order to prevent being caught. I don't remember any adaptations where Cratchit actually plays this, so this is mostly just another point of interest instead of something to keep track of. There will be parlor games later, but we'll cover those when we get to them.

So here's what we'll be keeping track of this year:

• How Christmas in the City is portrayed. Is it a universally joyous time or is it mixed with the deadliness of the weather or commentary on the rich and poor?
• Scrooge vs. carollers. And do they always sing "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"?
• Who brings up the day off? What does that say about Scrooge?
• Does Scrooge get any sympathy for his views as an employer?
• How does Cratchit react to Scrooge's stinginess? What does that say about their working relationship?
• Who leaves first: Scrooge or Cratchit? What does that say about how Scrooge manages Cratchit?
• Is there a sliding scene? What's its function in the story?

The Christmas Carol Project | "If Quite Convenient, Sir"

It's December again and time to get back to our annual look at everyone's favorite Christmas/ghost story, Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. If you're new to this, the idea is to pay attention to the way Scrooge's story has been interpreted and adapted to other media over the years. I’ve broken the story down into scenes (or sometimes parts of scenes) in order to look at their translation to 19 different films, TV shows, and comics.

In past years, we've tackled these in the order in which they were made, but I always feel it's anticlimactic to end on a couple of recent comics adaptations. So this year, I'm going to try something new and group them by media type. The comics will come first, then animated versions, and finally live-action adaptations. I think that'll put the strongest work towards the end.

Here's the list of adaptations in the order I'll take them this year:

• Classics Illustrated #53 (1948)
• Marvel Classics Comics #36 (Marvel; 1978)
• A Christmas Carol: The Graphic Novel (Classical Comics; 2008)
• A Christmas Carol (Campfire; 2010)
• "A Christmas Carol" in Graphic Classics, Vol. 19: Christmas Classics (Eureka; 2010)
• Teen Titans #13 (DC; 1968)
• A Christmas Carol cartoon (1971) starring Alastair Sim
• The Stingiest Man in Town (1978) starring Walter Matthau
• Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983) starring Scrooge McDuck
• A Christmas Carol (2009) starring Jim Carrey
• A Christmas Carol (1910) starring Marc McDermott
• Scrooge (1935) starring Seymour Hicks
• A Christmas Carol (1938) starring Reginald Owen
• Scrooge (1951) starring Alastair Sim
• "A Christmas Carol" episode of Shower of Stars (1954) starring Fredric March
• Scrooge (1970) starring Albert Finney
• A Christmas Carol (1984) starring George C. Scott
• The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) starring Michael Caine
• A Christmas Carol (1999) starring Patrick Stewart

Annual Disclaimer: This obviously isn’t an exhaustive list. I started with my favorites, added some that people have recommended over the years, and then threw in some others that just caught my curiosity. We can talk about the ones I left out, but I will say that the reason Mr Magoo’s Christmas Carol isn’t here is because I hate it with a passion. It’s neither a good Christmas Carol nor a good Mister Magoo cartoon. There’s also no Scrooged or An American Christmas Carol or Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. When I first started this, I tried to stick to more or less faithful adaptations, but even though I've since added Teen Titans to the list, I'd rather that be a fun exception and not have to figure out where I'm going to draw the line.

This is going to take years. Every December we'll look at one scene, starting with Dickens' version, then exploring individual adaptations of that scene in the days leading up to Christmas. Last year, we met the two solicitors unfortunate enough to ask Scrooge for a charitable donation. This year, Scrooge will say goodnight to Cratchit and get in some last digs at Christmas before heading off to begin his adventure.

The fun starts tomorrow!

Kill All Monsters: The Ministry of Robots is under construction

Jason leaked a couple of images from his office last week on Facebook with the captions, "Now what could this possibly mean...?" and "This is happening."

Just thought you should know.