Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Arctic Marauder



I'll have to forgive you if you hear the description of Jacques Tardi's The Arctic Marauder and think that it's a 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea rip-off. After all, it does have ships that mysteriously blow up as eerie lights shine below the ocean surface.



And the destruction does end up being caused by the anti-social crew of a submersible, who do occasionally like to go for walkabouts on the ocean floor.



But The Arctic Marauder doesn't steal from 20,000 Leauges so much as improve on it. After all, Nemo's crew never traveled like this:



The Arctic Marauder takes out all of Verne's boring travelogue stuff and replaces it with awesome. The Marauder is also the name of the villains' seacraft and it's even more cool than the Nautilus. And rather than just being withdrawn from society like Nemo, the Marauder's captain is a full-blown whackadoo who wants to destroy the world.



There's also this creepy, old bat to complicate things in the best possible way.



And of course there's some good, old-fashioned cephalopod hating.



While not exactly a cliff-hanger, the ending does necessitate a sequel, so the lack of closure is the only negative comment I can make about this thing. Even then, though, there's a way of reading it where the book says everything it needs to. Still, I hope Tardi's working on the follow-up right this very minute, because I want a lot more of this.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

LXB | March Madness of Badassery



This week's League of Extraordinary Bloggers assignment is epic. Since March Madness is right around the corner, Brian at Cool and Collected created this bracket of the top sixteen movie studs. The instructions are:

Imagine that these tough guys are airdropped into an abandoned city full of convicts, and only one can escape. Fill it out, or just write the play-by-play and let the world know who you think would win this ultimate cage match.

This, my friends, is too huge for just one post. So, I'm going to beg forgiveness for breaking the rules and intentionally missing the deadline. Instead, I'll hold off until next week when it's March for real and post a match each day for three weeks until we arrive at a winner. I don't know how in-depth I'll get (detailing blow-by-blow accounts would take more time than I'll likely have), but this is an awesome, cool idea and I want to at least be able to think through each match carefully and give you the chance to chime in with your own opinions about them. First up: Bruce Lee vs John McClane.

The LXB Speaks | Where Are They Now?



I wasn't the only one who immediately thought of The Breakfast Club for the League of Extraordinary Bloggers' "Where Are They Now?" week. Unlike me, a couple of other LXB members followed through on that idea and came up with some interesting scenarios. Flashlights Are Something to Eat suggests that Brian has a successful business and a large family, Andy had a short-lived wrestling career in college, and Bender... poor Bender.

Siftin' had a fantastic idea: a fake documentary catching up on all of John Hughes' Shermer, Illinois characters at the same time. I especially love his suggestion that Samantha Baker from Sixteen Candles ended up married to Duckie from Pretty in Pink. I just hope that Claire didn't leave Bender for Steff. My only suggestion is that this idea is too awesome for a movie. It should be a TV series with Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall playing multiple characters.

Brian at Cool and Collected also has some great ideas about what happened to the Breakfast Club. Even though I said I wouldn't want to see another version than my own, underdeveloped one, Brian's is a take I can get behind. I especially love how he created elements for future dramatic potential in each character.

Check out the other responses to the assignment (Labyrinth and Monster Squad were also popular choices) at Cool and Collected.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Tarzan: Lord of the Louisiana Jungle



I heard about this on the Pulped podcast and it sounds fantastic. The short version is that Al Bohl and his daughter Allison have created a documentary about the making of the first Tarzan movie, 1918's silent Tarzan of the Apes starring Elmo Lincoln. Check out the trailer above or - if you have an hour - the podcast.

The documentary premieres April 13 in Morgan City, Louisiana where Tarzan of the Apes was shot. There's a cool bit in the podcast where Bohl talks about a promise that the silent film's creators made to show the film in Morgan City when it was completed. They never kept that promise, so Bohl is keeping it for them. In addition to the documentary (or maybe as part of it, I'm not entirely clear), Bohl has re-edited the surviving footage of Tarzan of the Apes to restore the film to as close to its original version as is possible. Apparently, as the film was re-released in theaters over the decades, it got spliced up and scenes were switched around, so Bohl has fixed that.

I emailed Bohl and asked about the DVD release date, and his reply was that it'll be available shortly after the premiere in April. He's working on a new website and will sell copies through that. In the meantime, the documentary's Facebook page is a great way to get updates. Or you can stay tuned here, of course.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Why I'm not going down The River



I'm so disappointed in this show. It has a great premise, some very cool actors, and a few characters I like a lot, but it doesn't know what to do with any of those things.

The premise is that a Steve Irwin-esque explorer/TV star named Emmet Cole (Bruce Greenwood) has gone missing after one, last mission up the Amazon River. Though his wife and son were always a part of his long-running show, this was a mission that – for mysterious reasons – he didn’t want them to go on. So now Tess (Leslie Hope) and Lincoln (Joe Anderson) are heading back into the jungle with what’s left of Cole’s old production crew to look for him and document the experience. Lincoln’s already written his dad off for dead and isn’t keen on dredging up old memories, but Tess has new evidence that Cole may be alive, and guilt-fueled reasons for needing to find him.

Bruce Greenwood (National Treasure: Book of Secrets, the Star Trek remake) is always a welcome actor and he’s especially charismatic as Cole (I’d totally watch a nature show starring Dr. Cole; no problem), but there are other familiar faces too. Leslie Hope is one from her time as Jack Bauer’s wife on 24, but her character is as abrasive in The River as Teri Bauer was, so that’s not exactly a selling point. It’s really cool though to see Paul Blackthorne from the sadly short-lived Dresden Files as TV producer Clark Quietly. Even though he’s introduced as a cliché Hollywood jerk, my fondness for Harry Dresden made me immediately sympathetic to him and that didn’t go unrewarded. Quietly turns out to be a deeper character than his stereotype implies.

There are other great characters on the show as well, even though I’m not familiar with the actors who play them. Shaun Parkes (he’s been in a couple of episodes of Doctor Who, but I didn’t remember him) is likable as AJ the cameraman. Like Blackthorne’s character, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that AJ’s more than just a pushy guy who’ll do anything to get a shot. For one thing, he won’t do anything. He’s generally brave and resourceful, but he has limits that quickly get tested in the jungle.

Lena
I’m also fond of Lena Landry (played by Eloise Mumford), the daughter of Emmet Cole’s long-time cameraman. Her dad was part of Cole’s missing party and that contributes to Lena’s being one of the best balanced characters on the show. Where most of the characters are either gung ho to continue their quest or begrudging participants, Lena has a deep investment in succeeding, but is also very sensitive to the danger of their situation.

The rest of the crew isn’t as awesome. Thomas Kretschmann (King Kong, Wanted) plays a security expert named Kurt who’s in communication with someone outside the group and appears to have his own, deadly motives for wanting to find Cole. He’s so mysterious though that he’s all plot and no character. Four episodes in (if you count the two-hour premiere as the two episodes it was designed to be) and we know almost nothing about him other than that he may or may not be a threat to Cole when they find him.

Daniel Zacapa plays Emilio Valenzuela, the ship’s mechanic, who’s mostly there to fix things and be over-protective of his daughter, Jahel (Paulina Gaitan). Jahel is the most disappointing character because she starts off seeming so wise to the area’s dangers, but soon becomes annoying as the group’s Cassandra; relentlessly predicting their doom. If she had something else to do – or even just got to have fun every once in a while – her dire prophecies would be powerful. Unfortunately, she’s tiresome by the fourth episode. I suspect that given enough time, Jahel will be developed into a real character, but I’m not willing to wait that long. Especially with all the other problems this show has.



I’ve never really liked the found-footage style of storytelling anyway and The River is especially bad at it. That’s kind of surprising since it’s created by the guys behind the Paranormal Activity series, but there’s a blatant Blair Witch rip-off in the first episode and a couple of Paranormal Activity call-backs in the second. There are also a lot of instances of cameras being in places where they have no business being. Or turned on and filming footage when their operators have much more important things to worry about than keeping the camera rolling.

The hugest issue I have with the show though is the writing. The River’s week-to-week format has the team following the same formula every episode. They search for Cole, run into something dangerous (usually a ghost or spirit of some kind), then give up and escape back to the boat. There’s no continuity. What the team learns one episode has no bearing on what they do in the following episode. In the first one they find a huge cache of Cole’s tapes from before he went missing, so each week they pull one out and search it for clues. And they always give up before they even exhaust whatever clue they find.

The most frustrating example of the show’s miserable writing is in the first episode where they encounter the malevolent ghost of a member of the missing party. As they fight it, Tess screams at the ghost, trying to communicate with it and learn if Cole is dead or alive. As everyone chaotically battles the ghost, she yells at it to give her a sign: “one” for dead; “two” for alive. When the monster attacks her and leaves two scars on her abdomen, she takes it as her answer. That’s silly enough, but Tess is looking for hope, so she can be excused. The stupid part is that Lincoln – who up to this point has steadfastly proclaimed his belief that his dad is dead – accepts the “sign” too and completely changes his mind, even having to re-convince Tess during a moment of doubt.

It’s a pity, because I was totally up for a show about a group of cool, interesting people exploring uncharted areas of the Amazon. And I found a lot to like here; enough that I want to give it a chance and will miss some of these characters when I check out. I can get over the sloppy found-footage; the directors barely care about it enough to keep up the pretense, so why should I try to make myself believe it? With so many writing problems this early on though, I’m just not confident that I’ll be rewarded by sticking with it. Unlike the crew in The River, I’m giving up on Cole and finding something else to do instead.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

LXB | Jack and Lili from Legend: Where Are They Now?



Assignment: The '80s and '90s were filled with kids and teens in the movies. Which movie would you like to see a sequel made in 2012 with the original cast members, who have aged the same as you and me?

My first thought was of The Breakfast Club. As soon as I finished watching that movie back in 1985, I was ready for the sequel. I really wanted to know: would all these kids still be friends come Monday? On the other hand, I also knew that no one - not even John Hughes - could make a satisfying Breakfast Club sequel. I already had a very specific vision of what Monday would be like; I just wanted to see it confirmed. And there's no way it could have been.

A 25-years-later sequel would be a bad idea for similar reasons. Part of me would love to catch up with Bender, Claire, Allison, Andy, and Brian in middle-age; maybe at a high school reunion. But most of me realizes that I still don't want to see that. I have my own ideas about where these characters ended up that are uniquely mine. Seeing anything else on the screen is doomed to disappoint.

So I'm going with Tom Cruise and Mia Sara's characters from Legend. Unlike the very real characters in The Breakfast Club, Jack and Lili are ciphers ("archetypes," if we're being generous); blank characters with no real personality. I love Legend and saw it enough times that I once could quote the entire thing from memory (there's not a lot of dialogue, so it's not that hard), but its two leads aren't examples of great writing or acting. I used to give Mia Sara a pass for being Ferris Bueller's girlfriend, but I don't anymore and - honestly - she wasn't that great in Ferris Bueller's Day Off either. Darkness (Tim Curry), on the other hand...an entirely different story.

But it's Jack and Lili's blandness that makes them perfect for catching up to. Contrasting them again with the kids from The Breakfast Club, a filmmaker could write Older Jack and Lili anyway she wanted to without competing with my personal preferences. The world Ridley Scott created in Legend is gorgeous and fantastic, but it has some of the same problems that Jack and Lili do. Scott never tries to ground it or make it feel like a real place. That helps with the fairy tale feel, but it's also a reason that I haven't gone back and watched the movie much as an adult. So, like Jack and Lili, I'd love to revisit the world of Legend and learn more about it.  There are a lot of possibilities there.

Tom Cruise is still a charismatic, active screen presence and though Mia Sara hasn't done a lot of acting lately (concentrating more on making grandkids for Sean Connery and Jim Henson), it would be fun to catch up with her too. And Tim Curry, of course. If you remember the final shot of Legend, with Darkness laughing menacingly as he's superimposed over the heroes who believe he's been destroyed; well, most of the plot of Legend 2  pretty much writes itself.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The LXB Speaks | Hollywood Treasures



While I talked about how cool it would be to have Tarzan's treehouse in my backyard, the rest of the League of Extraordinary Bloggers chimed in with equally cool memorabilia they'd want from their favorite movies and TV shows. You can get the whole rundown on Cool and Collected, but there were a few that had me envious of their imaginary loot, starting with Brian's life-size gorilla soldier from Planet of the Apes.

Tupa's Treasures' pirate ship from Goonies is another great idea, and so is The Lair of the Dork Horde's car collection (though I'd want the original KITT in there as well). I'd also love to have Revenge from the Cosmic Ark's Godzilla costume and animatronic King Kong.

But more than any of that awesome stuff, my heart jumped in joyful recognition at Flashlights are Something to Eat's mention of Mr. Rogers' trolley. I never would have thought of that and it's a perfect choice. I loved Mister Rogers' Neighborhood as a kid and always looked forward to the trolley's whisking us away to new adventures in the owl, platypus, and purple panda-filled Neighborhood of Make Believe.



[Art by Eric Scales]

Monday, February 20, 2012

Jungle Girls Attack! | Communist natives and giant griffins

I've been catching up on a folder full of links to jungle girl comics. Amongst the standard, natives-on-the-rampage and white-people-ruin-everything plots I found a couple with some noteworthy differences:

Cave Girl vs the Mau Mau Killers



Cave Girl trails a gang of ruthless natives to save a baby, but I like how these aren't just your typical baby-killing savages. Oh no...



...these are Soviet-trained, baby-killing savages. Never change, Cold War.

Nyoka, the Jungle Girl and the Sinister Jungle Myth



This one's interesting because Nyoka's not your typical, fur-wearing jungle girl. I usually prefer loincloth-wearing vine-swingers to modern safari-leaders (that goes for dudes as well; I'm looking at you, Jungle Jim), but after all the cookie-cutter jungle girls from the '40s, it's refreshing to see a different type. As Chuck Wells from The Comic Book Catacombs points out, the comic version is based on the movie serial and not the Edgar Rice Burroughs novel that supposedly inspired them both, but it's still cool. Especially since this story has Nyoka trying to clear her name by hunting giant griffins.



Though I'm kind of shocked at how she chooses to resolve the problem. I don't want to spoil anything before you go read it, but seriously...there had to have been a better way.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Edgar Rice Burroughs estate sues Dynamite over Tarzan and John Carter comics



Edgar Rice Burroughs, Inc. is suing Dynamite over the company's Lord of the Jungle and Warlord of Mars comics. This is especially timely with the new John Carter movie coming up, but Tarzan's also part of the deal.

Apparently Dynamite has been operating under what Tom Spurgeon calls " the generally accepted notion in a lot of geek circles that someone can work with a trademarked property if they don't exploit the trademark." In other words, since the original stories are in the public domain (at least in the US where Dynamite's comics are published), then - again, it's "generally accepted" - you can make new stories about those characters as long as you don't put Tarzan's name in the title of the book.

That seems like a dangerous assumption to make, especially when a) companies like Dark Horse and Marvel are actually paying for the rights to adapt those stories, and b) - as Heidi MacDonald points out - Dynamite has already tried to obtain rights legally and been turned down. If you're interested, you can read the entire suit at Heidi's link.

A third danger to this assumption has to do with the way the characters are portrayed in the unlicensed comics, especially Warlord of Mars' Dejah Thoris. It was specifically mentioned in ERB, Inc's legal complaint that the Burroughs family "takes specific issue with some of the covers and interior art for Warlord of Mars: Dejah Thoris, insisting they 'border on (and in some cases are) pornographic.'" They mention the character's appearing topless on certain variant covers, which sounded weird to me at first. After all, both Dejah Thoris and John Carter run around naked through most of A Princess of Mars. But, as Sleestak pointed out to me on Twitter, Dynamite's covers have sometimes gone beyond simple nudity. That kind of takes "exploiting" these characters to another level and it's not surprising that the Burroughs estate took notice. It'll be interesting to watch this develop, especially - as Heidi in particular points out in her post - considering the larger conversation currently going on about creators' rights.

LXB | Dream Memorabilia: Tarzan's Treehouse



This week's League of Extraordinary Bloggers assignment was another tough one: "You have an unlimited budget and space is not a problem. What piece of Hollywood memorabilia would you want hanging around in your batcave?"

I immediately went to Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark. How cool would it be to have the original R2-D2 or Indiana Jones' hat in the library? The more I thought about it though, the more I wanted to pick something from deeper in my childhood. Star Wars was a huge part of my growing up, but it built on interests I already had: stuff like Star Trek and Space: 1999. My earliest influences were Sherlock Holmes, Tarzan, and Conan.

Unfortunately, the perfect Conan film hasn't been made yet and I've only recently started checking out the most classic film versions of Sherlock Holmes. Having, say, Basil Rathbone's deerstalker cap from Hound of the Baskervilles would be cool, but not directly connected to my earliest memories of adventure stories. I can't think of a time though when I wasn't aware of and excited by the Johnny Weismuller Tarzan movies.

When trying to pick something I'd want from those movies, my first thought was how much I didn't want that loincloth. I considered his knife for a bit, but then remembered the part of the question about space not being a problem. Pretending I've got the backyard for it, I totally want Tarzan's treehouse (the original, not the Disney version in the photo) reconstructed for my lounging pleasure. I'd just need a chimpanzee to turn the fan crank and bring me drinks.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

The LXB Speaks | Saturday Matinees



One of the cool things about the League of Extraordinary Bloggers is discovering a bunch of cool, new blogs with interests similar to mine. So each week I want to do a round-up post to point out blogs whose responses to the previous week's assignment I most relate to. Last week was about Saturday-afternoon comfort movies and there were some great films listed.

My friend Charles Raymond is the guy who introduced me to the LXB and his pick is certainly one of my all-time favorites, Raiders of the Lost Ark. I used to call myself an Indiana Jones fan, but lately I'm realizing that I'm really just a Raiders fan. The other movies all have things that I like, but also things that I deeply don't care for. Raiders is nearly perfect.

I have similar feelings about AEIOU and Sometimes Why's pick, Star Wars. The more that universe expands, the tighter I circle around the original film. It's not perfect, but it'll always be perfect to me.

A couple of other movies I haven't thought about in a while, but are extremely re-watchable, are Red Dawn (mentioned by Branded in the '80s), Back to the Future (claimed by both the Cavalcade of Awesome and The Sexy Geek's House of Swag), and Weird Science (Geek Chunks' pick). That last one reminds me of the countless number of times I've watched other John Hughes films, especially The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. And those (along with Red Dawn) remind me of some other movies I wore out in the '80s: The Lost Boys and Dirty Dancing. I have no idea why I like Dirty Dancing so much other than a crush on Jennifer Grey and very manly feelings for Patrick Swayze, but dude, I watched that movie a lot back in the day.

You can check out the complete run-down of LXB responses to this question at Cool and Collected.

Stags Hate Cephalopods



[Pulp Covers]

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Too Much Information, Part One

Jaquandor answered these questions at Byzantium's Shores last week and it's been a while since I've done one of these too. They're good questions, though I've edited them for length and...well, timeliness, I guess. The original questions included the inspiration for asking them and - as Jaquandor points out - that dated the thing in a way it didn't need to.

So here's more than you wanted to know about me.

1. Have you ever been bothered by a TV show or movie series changing actors who play a character you love?



Not recently. When I was a kid, I remember losing whatever interest I had in Days of Our Lives when they swapped out Bo Bradys. Bo was pretty cool and I couldn’t buy the new actor. I guess they changed him back eventually, but my Days curiosity was always shaky at best, so I never came back.

The one that still bothers me is another old one: all the Felix Leiters in the James Bond movies. Some people think that replacing Felix actors every movie is funny or somehow endearing, but it’s not. Felix is a cool character in the novels and it bugs me that none of the movie fans know who I’m talking about because they can’t put a face to him. I was thrilled when Jeffrey Wright showed up again for Quantum of Solace, but it's too bad the character apparently isn’t in Skyfall at all.

2. What are some things people should know before spending time with you?



My eyes will begin to glaze over the moment you start talking about sports and I’ll have completely checked out by the time that conversation reaches the 30-second mark.

3. What is something you often do without realizing that you're doing it?



According to my wife, I have a Look. It’s the one that says you’re making absolutely no sense and I’m going to stop listening to you in 3…2…1…

This is related to Question No. 2. I’m an introvert and interacting with people one-on-one is hard work for me. Sometimes - though I try hard to hide it - I just don’t have the energy. I do a much better job at hiding it when I’m with people I don’t know that well though. Which leads me to…

4. Who has the capacity to make you angrier than anyone else in your life, and what in particular does he or she do to make you so angry?



My wife. I’m not going to get into particulars, because they aren’t important. Everyone has buttons that – when pushed – will get them going and I’m no different. Diane and I have a fantastic relationship and work hard not to push each other’s buttons, but when you’ve been married for a while (fifteen years for us, so far), you’re inevitably going to slip up every once in a while. I’d much rather focus on and celebrate how much we’ve been able to become a smoothly functioning team, but the question is about who has the capacity to tick you off and that’s always going to be the person you’re closest to.

5. If a fairy waved a magic wand and gave you the house of your dreams, where would it be and what features would it have?



A castle on the Scottish coast, but with central heat and air conditioning, and a modern kitchen and bathrooms. Also, a fireplace large enough to walk into.

6. What’s a belief that you hold with which many people disagree?



I’ve never had a conversation with anyone with whom I’ve seen totally eye-to-eye about God. I believe that the universe didn’t just happen – that it had to come from somewhere – but I don’t believe that the Genesis account should be read literally as an answer to that question. I also believe that the central message of Christianity is that people are supposed to love and take care of each other, but when I look at Christianity at large, I feel very alone in that interpretation.

7. If you were talking in your sleep tonight, what do you think you would say?



“I’ll nail yer suckers to the mast, ye scurvy squid!” (Totally stole that image from Stephen Keane. I'm sorry.)

8. Have you ever attended a midnight premiere showing of a movie?



I used to do this all the time, but as it became standard practice for theaters to run midnight showings, it became less of an event and I lost interest. By “event,” I mean an event for me personally. Obviously it’s still an event for a lot of people, but it became less fun for me and I’m rarely so excited about a new movie that I’ve got to see it the second it comes out. The last one may have been Pirates of the Caribbean 3, but I don’t rightly recall.

I could see myself doing it for The Hunger Games, though. I’m pretty stoked about that one.

9. How would you react if you saw, “Caution exotic animals; stay in your vehicle,” displayed on a road sign?



I’d roll up those windows and keep an eye out, but I’m not a panicky person. If I actually saw a tiger or something, I’d probably stop to gawk, depending on the animal’s mood.

10. If a company opened a theme park aimed at adults, what would you name one of the rides?



Alien vs. Predator: The Hunt. You would, of course, be the prey.

11. Imagine you just moved onto Sesame Street. Which puppet would you want as your new roommate?



I have a low tolerance for drama and shenanigans, so I’ll go with Kermit. He’s funny, but grounded.

12. Have you ever had a weird crush on a famous person that didn't make sense to you?



Matt Damon, because I’m straight. I understand all my crushes on famous women.

13. If you get ten minutes to interview any celebrity of your choice, who would you like it to be?



Bono. I’m currently reading his Conversation with Michka Assayas, so that may answer most of the actual questions I’ve got, but he was a hugely influential force on my life in my twenties, so I’d also just like to meet him.

14. You've just won the complete DVD collection of all the movies starring one actor or actress. Which actor/actress would you pick?



I used to try to collect all the movies by actors I liked. I accumulated a ton of stuff by Harrison Ford, Kenneth Branagh, and Sandra Bullock, but eventually learned that – like with all artists – I didn’t care for every single thing they did. But since I’m winning this and not buying it, the Johnny Depp collection probably has the most movies in it that I’d re-watch again and again.

15. What is something you've said through social media and then regretted it?



Most of this post.

16. What musician would you be most interested in learning behind-the-scenes facts about?



Someone new that I don’t know much about. Like Brite Futures. I’m curious about their influences and their name change from Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head.

17. If you stumbled across someone's personal written journal that was accidentally left in a public place, would you read any of the content?



Just enough to see if I could tell who it was in order to return it to them. I’m not naturally curious about other people’s personal stuff.

18. What is the title of a self-help book that you'd never want to see on a store bookshelf?



Develop Jedi Self-Confidence: Unleash the Force within You. Oh, crap.

19. Which Halloween costume do you think will be overdone this year?



Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

20. Should a marriage license have a renewal date or expiration date, like a driver’s license?



I understand the reason for the question, but no. Actually, I’m not convinced we should have marriage licenses at all. I’m not a Libertarian, but marriage is a relationship that I’m not convinced that government (or a church, for that matter) should have any say about. Like most of life, we’ve overcomplicated something that’s very simple in concept (though extremely tough to execute in practice).

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